Your Take: Sex (Kinda) Sells

I’m not entirely sure it ever full went away. Dierks Bentley has put out two really popular singles since he came on the scene talking about sex. The Randy Rogers Band has their closest thing to a mainstream hit (granted it only reached the 30′s chart wise) with Kiss Me In The Dark. Alan Jackson put out “I’ll Go On Loving You”.

Obviously the conservative nature of a large part of the Country audience plays a part, but I also think, to a certain extent the listener is bored with it to a point.

I mean, I think part of the appeal of those Conway songs is that, talking about and singing about sex was rather new. Society was becoming less conservative and one of the most conservative genres was following suit.

Now, people are bombarded with sex. They see it on TV, In Print, while driving along the highway, hear about it at the workplace, so many of the songs played on pop and rock formats talk about it.

I dont think people are bored with sex, that will never happen, but I kinda like the fact that I can turn away from the rock station playing Hinder or Saving Abel and hear a song like “In Color”.

I’d like to say it worked for Sara Evans’ “Coalmine” but the coal mining incident killed it chances, otherwise I think it had a good chance of reaching #1

But I don’t mind steamy love songs, and think they should keep making them

To comment on noeller’s comment in the post. Adults should have moved past “radio” country music and on to something with substance some time ago.

Susan Boyle could have have Shania Twain success if she too marries Mutt Lange. Twain was just all body before he sculpted her into the queen of pop/country.

Allusions to love making are allowed, as long as they aren’t too graphic or direct, and if you’re unmarried, you had better keep it PG—Carrie Underwood can have a fling in Vegas, but we’ll never be privy to that hotel room intimacy. Indeed, Conway Twitty’s “I’d Love To Lay You Down” would make many of today’s country fans blush.

Exactly which parts of “I’d Love To Lay You Down” – or much else in country radio at any point in the past – were more graphic and direct than, say, “Getting You Home?”

@zaynjones

I have said this before.. Looks (sex) fade, but good music lasts forever.

Nashville: Y’all need to figure this out before you run country music into the ground.

I’ll kick any execs ass if they destroy the thing I love more than anything!!!

Amen.

PS – Y’all should check my music out @ myspace.com/zaynjones

It perplexes me that alcohol abuse, something generally considered to be immoral, is such a prevelant topic in country music and something as natural as sex is rarely addressed above the G-rated level. For the song in question, however, I entirely disagree with Jim. I think the song sucks, and your review was based solely on the greater topic which the song aluded too!

…not in the lyrics of a song?” is there really anyone out there who believes that jason aldean’s green tractor was a song about farm equipment? furthermore, i think the black dress song doesn’t leave much room for guessing what’s going to happen next – fair enough, we don’t know anything about their favourite position. for the genre as a whole, i guess one could easily say: “there’s more where that came from!” need proof? just accidently, today i heard travis tritt’s and lari white’s duet “helping me get over you” – she doesn’t leave any doubts about how she’s trying to get over him, neither does julie roberts in the song, in which she greets the jim beam bottle after having gotten it on with a warm shoulder. it’s all out there noeller – just open your ears.

Zayn, start kicking.

Sex exists on mainstream country radio, but it rarely involves two people. Generally there is the protagionist and some action but no interaction. Country music sex used to be, for lack of a better word, real. It involved two people who stumbled into each other when they were lonely some nights. Sometimes that was a mistake (Last Night I Went to Bed at Two With a Ten), sometimes it a booty call (Stranger (Shut Off the Lights and Leave Me), sometimes it involved cheating (Just Get Up and Close the Door) sometimes it involved accidentally falling in love (Holding Her and Loving You) it sometimes ended in an accidental pregnancy (Rake and Ramblin Man). But it was sloppy and messy and complicated, like actual sex is. Today’s mainstream country music sex might get you through the night of, if you don’t think about it too hard. But it will not get you through wandering around a strange apartment complex parking lot the next morning, trying to find your car, in your little black dress with your shoes in your hand while you try to figure out if you want that guy to call you or not and if you would look too desperate trying to gulp water out of that pool over there. Not that I know what that feels like or anything. Just guessing….

To: Razor X…

I can’t even listen to country radio anymore. It hurts my heart & my ears.

I’m on a mission.

Maybe that’s what it means to you, Jim, but that’s not what it says – not the title itself, nor the actual song. The thesis you laid out in that review is wrong; country music is not less graphic or direct about sex now than it was 10 or 20 or 30 or maybe even 40 years ago, and it’s arguably more so.

That song wasn’t quite that subtle, Thomas, but I was still a good bit older before I really thought much about what he was talking about. That’s kind of why I like it to be subtle, that way kids can enjoy it, and maybe keep their innocence intact.

There’s plenty of sex in country music, today’s and yesterday’s; you jes’ gotta know where to look for it. (jes’ a litte south of that big, giant belt buckle, heh) It’s really just more subtle than the sorta sex you find in dance music; you won’t hear, “..back that a$$ up” or “…girl, I got the right size d**k to turn you on”, but you might hear The Pussycat Song or David Allan Coe expressing a desire to f___ the s___ outta you. Come to think of it, the Coe tune’s not really all that subtle….

I’d love to lay you down means I want to have sex with you.

Well, no it doesn’t – or rather, that’s not all it means, and especially not in this particular song. The chorus of the song says what the narrator wants to do when he lays his gal down – and what it is is, he wants to talk to her about how much he loves her. It’s not a song about sex per se, and in fact, the lyrics of the song actually confound the expectations of those who, based on its title, think it’s about getting laid; it’s about romantic love and desire that transcend conventional notions of sexiness. Sex is there, to be sure, but what’s graphic and direct in the song is…talking.

I’m not getting paid to debate your thesis here, so I’m not inclined to take the time to refute it in detail. But I will say that if 1) you’re going to serve up “I’d Love To Lay You Down” as your prime example of graphic directness in olden days, and 2) you’re going to ignore all the examples of graphic directness in modern times – and I and others have offered up several – then I would say that as the guy advancing a specific notion, the burden of proof is still in your court.

Hey, what about “Face To Face” by Alabama?

That junk’s pretty direct… and it also has some really interesting social implications.

GRAPHIC WARNING/DISCLAIMER

Apparently, having sex facing away from each other (position wise) is not viewed as “loving,” and is looked down upon in some cultures. So, in that sense, Randy Owen’s self-penned tune is kind of a sexual “Okie From Muskogee,” saying “We still do it this way, and this is the right way to do it.”

I wonder if Owen was trying to make that statement when he wrote the song, or if it just turned out that way? The emphasis on “face-to-face” is pretty blunt, but was is it reinforced for romantic flair or societal point-making? Who knows?

Jim Malec
December 20, 2009 at 5:53 pm Permalink Maybe that’s what it means to you, Jim, but that’s not what it says – not the title itself, nor the actual song.

It’s the definition of laying someone down, Jon. Have you ever heard of “getting laid?” That’s what the phrase means. I’d love to lay you down means I want to have sex with you. And when the narrator talks about still being able to lay her down when she’s got silver in her hair, trust me, he’s talking about having sex with her. There’s no other way to interpret that phrase. He doesn’t want to lay her down to snuggle.

Well, when they have silver hair he probably will. Until the viagra kicks in.

Steve Harvey
December 20, 2009 at 10:09 pm Permalink Sexual references in country songs can get a little cute for my liking. It’s as if the writers thing they’re being far more risque than they actually are and are winking at the audience about it.
EXACTLY. Its like sex written by virgins.

I didn’t even read all your comments but come on people, Zach is talking about in his music just relaxing and having his ass in the sand and toes in the clay. How better could you think to spend your day. Not having to worry about anything else. I love his music, and have since before he became big. Me and my husband have a song for us that he made. He is just a down home guy, trying to bring it back to you guys but you gotta look at the negative. Find something better to do cause I love his music.

Does anyone here think that “ass” is a word that used to be commonly heard – or heard at all – on country radio back in olden times?

Does anyone here think that “ass” is a word that used to be commonly heard – or heard at all – on country radio back in olden times?

No. Doesn’t make it any sillier to censor it now.

One trend I’ve found fascinating this decade is that, while Country song lyrics themselves have a dearth of lyrics thematically situated around sex, music videos to many Country songs nonetheless considerably often feature scantily-clad women, snippets of sex scenes (not featuring nudity below the abdomen surely) and other bacchanalia.

Perhaps sex sells visually in Country music, just not literally?

I think there are 2 issues to talk about here, so I’ll address both of them.

1. Should country music talk about sex? Yes, it’s part of life and the human experience, which is generally what songs are about, so go for it.

2. Should country music talk directly about sex? No. Call me a prude, but I like the “coded” approach better…see “I’d Love to Lay You Down” vs. “I Want to Hump You” above. It’s just more poetic and, really, sexier. Pop music lyrics these days are so matter-of-fact about what they’re doing in bed that it’s just kind of ho-hum and rather akin to reading an instruction manual.

So no, I don’t think all country songs need to be so gosh-darned family friendly, but I do appreciate a little subtlety when it comes to singing about “lovin’.”

Gets a pass from me! I mean, sure, it’s talking about sex, but I guess you could also take it as him acknowledging that he knows she’s looking for something deeper than a one-night stand – someone who will stick around and spend some time with her…after they get down to business, of course. ;)

As someone who thinks Honkytonk Badonkadonk is not completely unfunny (albeit in a completely immature way…even I can’t explain why I don’t hate it), it takes a lot more than you’d think to ruffle my feathers. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t want sex to be treated as commonplace or mundane…it deserves to be treated with at least a hint of wit, unlike pop music’s let it all out approach.

On the other hand, like Stormy said, country lyrics can get somewhat cutesy in their treatment of it, and I’m not a major fan of that, either…I guess I just want good writing, that’s all. When it comes down to it, I don’t care what the subject is – just write some good lyrics about it!

As for the moralistic angle, I think we’re at one extreme, but we don’t need to go to other like pop…just swing back toward the middle a little, please. Sorry to write an essay, argh.

I never interpreted Slow Hand to mean that “[Twitty] is acknowledging that he knows she’s looking for something deeper than a one night stand – someone who will stick around and spend some time with her… after they get down to business”

I always thought the “sticking around” part (“…somebody who will spend some time/Not come and go in a heated rush”) meant that Twitty believes sex should last more than a few minutes. That seems more likely to me than the other interpretation because the Pointer Sister’s version of the song includes the lines “If I want it all night/You say it’s alright.” Twitty’s version is similar. He says ‘If you want it all night, you know its all right/ Ive got time”

I always thought the song was about the length of the particular sex session and had nothing to do with the length of any relationship (one night stand or maybe longer term).

Well Done! I Like it!