November Mailbag: Post-CMA Edition
What does an invitation to the CMA Awards look like?
It has a picture of Taylor Swift with the words “Come see Taylor and some other people perform!” underneath. — Sam
No idea. The CMA has yet to recognize the “interwebs” as a viable media entity, thus haven’t approved our credential requests. — Pierce
Who was the surprise guest on the CMAs?
Viewers. — Stephen
Country music. — Ken
Jamey Johnson, who the CMA paired with country radio stalwart Kid Rock. — Jim
Why did LeAnn Rimes look bad at the awards show?
It was the scarlet A across her chest. — Ken
Why hasn’t Kellie Pickler had any wins at CMA?
Because the organization that voted Taylor Swift as the Female Vocalist of the Year still has some standards. — Sam
What has Brad Paisley done that would get him nominated?
He single-handedly is making sure country fans under 20 years old know who Little Jimmy Dickens is. — Sam
Not one other artist has courageously tackled the gritty underbelly of the dangers of frolicking in tick-infested forests like he has. — Ken
How big is Taylor Swift’s fan base?
Not very large, considering most of her fans haven’t hit their growth spurt yet. — Sam
Pre-VMAs: a few million. Post-VMAs: everyone but Kanye. — CMW
It’s not that large, really–she mainly relies on the air conditioning on her bus. – Karlie
How old is the girl playing in Jake Owen’s “8 Second Ride?”
Old enough that she shouldn’t be too impressed about an 8-second ride. — Sam
Over eighteen because sixteen will get you twenty. — Ken
What does Jake Owen’s “8 Second Ride” mean?
It means his woman ain’t satisfied. — Stephen
It’s the second of the two new theme songs for Disneyland this year, the first is “2 Hour Line.” — Ken
It means that writing hit songs is a hell of a lot easier than it used to be. — Jim
What does the song “People Are Crazy” mean?
Manipulating old people to steal their money is both easy and profitable. — Sam
What does Jennifer Nettles dislike?
Former band members and lawyers. — Sam
Stretch pants shortages and terrain inhospitable to giant hamster balls. — CMW
Those awkward moments between asking Brooks and Dunn to come say a few words onstage at the CMAs and receiving the silent evil eye from Ronnie Dunn. — Karlie
Why is Sugarland a vocal duo when the guy doesn’t sing?
He may not sing a lot, but Kristian Bush’s role in Sugarland (standing out of Jennifer’s spotlight and strumming his guitar) is too important to be overlooked. — Sam
There are many things a person can contribute to a duo besides singing–a love for fedoras, ridiculous quotes for the media and red carpet arm candy being just a few. — Karlie
Because Taylor Swift is more friendly and political–thus has the female vocalist award wrapped up for the rest of her career. (*Secretly hoping for a call from Taylor now that I half-heartedly criticized her*) — Pierce
Who says Kristian Bush doesn’t sing? His contribution to “Love” was indispensable. — Jim
What the hell is Tim McGraw “Southern Voice?”
A reasoned argument for the superiority of all things Southern, many of which actually aren’t. — CMW
A marketing ploy. — Stephen
Hell if I know, dude. — “Will” Faulkner
What is Chris Cagle’s last name?
Believe it or not, Cagle is actually his middle name. His last name is Exercise. — CMW
Who it was she never found in me?
The man you want to be (a strong man, an admit when you were wrong man, a less grammatically awkward man, etc.) — CMW
What is symbolism in country music?
You didn’t think that song was really about a big green tractor, did you? — CMW
What type of education did Kellie Pickler receive?
She received her education from the streets–of Sonic, that is. Whoever coined the term “school of hard knocks” must’ve also fallen a time or two on roller skates while delivering Cherry Limeades to guys in jacked up trucks. — Karlie
Who wings the sone “I Need You Now?”
Aady Lantebellum — Stephen
Better yet, who the hell says “wings the sone?” — Ken
Can women over 60 still be attractive to men?
Yes, ever since Emmylou turned 60. — Stephen
“Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.” — Dolly Parton
Why is Nashville Star no longer on the air?
The same reason Melissa Lawson never was on the radio. — Pierce
While they had the Nashville part down well, they never quite managed to master the Star part. — Ken
The show’s star-making power (Brad Cotter, Angela Hacker, Melissa Lawson) proved so great that the Nashville establishment had no choice but to shut it down for fear of obsolescence. — CMW
How can a tired single mother do it all?
She goes running for the shelter of a mother’s little helper/And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day.” — Mick Jagger/Keith Richards
Who the heck is Gloriana?
I don’t know either, Lady Gaga. — Juli
What other old Spanish song sounds like “Toes?”
“Mi Asno Es Atascado En La Arena” — Ken
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In each and every instance, the best country albums of the past ten years were built on the backs of songs -- stories about you and me from birth to death and stories that paint landscapes rooted in every region of America and beyond. These are the top country albums of the decade.Tagged In This Article
8 Second Ride // Aady Lantebellum // Age of Consent // Angela Hacker // Big Green Tractor // Brad Paisley // Cherry Limeade // Chris Cagle // CMA // CMA Awards // CMA Awards Invitations // CMA Standards // Country Fans Under 20 // Country Music // Disneyland // Dolly Parton // Fedoras // Frolicking // Giant Hamster Balls // Gloriana // Gritty Underbellies // Interwebs // Jacked Up Trucks // Jake Owen // Jamey Johnson // Jennifer Nettles // Kanye // Kanye West // Kanyegate // Keith Richards // Kellie Pickler // Kid Rock // Kristian Bush // Lady Gaga // Lawyers // LeAnn Rimes // Little Jimmy Dickens // Manipulating Old People // Marketing Ploys // Melissa Lawson // Mick Jagger // Molehills // Mountains // Nashville Star // Nathaniel Hawthorne // People Are Crazy // Red Carpet Arm Candy // Ridiculous Quotes // Ronnie Dunn // Sonic Drive-Thru // Southern Superiority // Stretch Pants // Sugarland // Suprise Guests // Symbolism in Country Music // Taylor Swift // Taylor Swift's Fan Base // The Education of Kellie Pickler // The Nashville Establishment // The Rolling Stones // The Scarlet Letter // The Silent Evil Eye // Theme Park Lines // Tick-Infested Forests // Tim McGraw // Unsatisfied Women // Viewers // VMAs // Vocal Duos // Wings The Sone // Writing Hit Songs // Zac Brown Band
Current Discussion
- Steve Harvey: I do wish however, that he would choose some of his singles differently. According to some interviews I've read, he doesn't ...
- Alena: K, you've said it. I agree with you 100%. A wise person once told me something that I've always believed ...
- Paul W Dennis: Also I am not sure that comparisons between Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood are terribly germane. Other than both being ...
- Phil: Aren't most people who write these reviews just frustrated songwriters who couldn't make it in the music business?? Yea, ...
- JCH: It's not exactly an irregularity to hold Underwood in esteem while thinking very little of the material she is delivering. ...
- K: "I would not take a review that uses that type of language seriously at all. You did a great job ...
- Steve M.: Perhaps the reviewers are simply stating that Carrie Underwood is wasting her talent on material beneath her talents.
- K: "Lady A had a bad review of their live performance at the Houston Livestock Show recently. Can’t believe they won ...
- Jon: Well, Steven M., sometimes criticism of artists is framed in such a way as to constitute a attack on the ...
- Steve M.: That would be personally.
9 Comments
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November 30, 2009 at 2:18 pm Permalink
Yes, ever since Emmylou turned 60. — Stephen
My god yes.
November 30, 2009 at 4:08 pm Permalink
Yawn. More bitching and moaning from the elitist bastards who don’t like the progression of Country Music. Hey, 9513, don’t you feel hypocritical when you criticize music for being, in your words, “the same old song”?
November 30, 2009 at 4:46 pm Permalink
What the hell is Tim McGraw “Southern Voice?”
A reasoned argument for the superiority of all things Southern, many of which actually aren’t. — CMW
- i think due to the south’s history of being a (majority but not all)racists, modern southerners are doing everything to redeem that stain in their history. Thus name checkin’ Aretha Franklin and Billy Graham.
November 30, 2009 at 4:46 pm Permalink
Oh, come on. This is funny. Loved the Kellie Pickler one.
November 30, 2009 at 7:06 pm Permalink
I liked the Chris Cagle one.
November 30, 2009 at 7:09 pm Permalink
What the hell is Tim McGraw “Southern Voice?”
A marketing ploy. — Stephen
Hence why Taylor Swift’s first single was “Tim McGraw”. Ladies and gentlemen, we have come full circle!
November 30, 2009 at 9:44 pm Permalink
What does Jake Owen’s “8 Second Ride” mean?
It’s the second of the two new theme songs for Disneyland this year, the first is “2 Hour Line.” — Ken
Hardy har har! :D Disneyland and Six Flags are a waste of time…literally. But soooo much fun in short spurts.
November 30, 2009 at 9:56 pm Permalink
When I first glanced at Josh’s comment, I misread it as ‘Disneyland and Six Flags are so much fun in short shorts.’
November 30, 2009 at 10:59 pm Permalink
So I had to use Google translate for the last response … Great stuff, guys.
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