March 2010 Mailbag: How Hard Is It To Get Mosh Seats At The CMT Awards?

How hard is it to get mosh seats at the CMT Awards?
Getting the seats is easy. Moshing to Lady Antebellum is hard. — Stephen

I think you’re thinking of the wrong type of award show. Wait, wait. No, you’re right. — Karlie

Mosh seats? If that’s your expectation, I’d recommend against even trying. — CMW

What kind of hats does Easton Corbin wear?
Country hats. Very very very country hats. Don’t doubt the countryness of his hats. — Stephen

He’s a little more country than hats. — Jim

What does country music represent?
Every washed-up rocker’s last hope. — CMW

What does Shinola mean?
Who gives a shinola! — Stephen

That Dolly’s songwriting is getting a little sloppy. — Jim

What does Uncle Kracker’s song smile sound like?
A great big frown. — Stephen

What is the theme of “Another Picture to Burn?”
It was Taylor Swift’s subtle tribute to future CMT Crossroads partner Def Leppard’s rock masterpiece Pyromania. — Ken

Taylor Swift is secretly teaching kids and young adults the ins-and-outs of Wiccanism. — Jim

What does Blake Shelton like to collect?
Coattails. — Stephen

What does my music taste say about me?
Rock candy breaks your teeth, pop give you gas, but bluegrass is good for your system. — Ken

It says whether or not you’re sufficiently country to call yourself a true American. — Jim

How do you let a girl feel that fire?
http://www.cdc.gov/STD — Ken

How many platinums did Hank Williams have?
At least fifty ‘leven, shawty. — Karlie

Fifty ‘leven, plus a Black Card. — Jim

What is the Rascal Flatts song “Here Comes Goodbye About?”
It’s a treatise on the proper usage and placement of punctuation. — CMW

Why is Mickie James not wrestling?
She’s checking out to see if country music is ready to rumble. — Ken

Why is Blake Shelton not on Twitter lately?
He jumped off that bandwagon and onto the “I’m So Country Country Song” one. — Karlie

Recording half an album, then explaining why he only recorded half an album, took a lot out of him. — CMW

How much does Martina McBride weigh?
135 drunk, 125 sober. So, 135. — CMW

In the song “Shiftwork,” what is the last shift?
I don’t know, I’ve never made it that far into the song. — Jim

Why was Gretchen Wilson dropped?
She took down her Christmas lights. Automatic breach of contract. — Karlie

Why did two artists record “The Truth?”
As it turns out, one of them was lying. — Sam

Why is Crystal from Trailer Choir?
Considering she’s surrounded by guys named Butter and Big Vinny, Crystal is probably asking herself the same question. — Sam

How to express your music taste?
You go onto online Internet communities, proclaim your favorite singers using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, and tell anyone who disagrees with you that they suck and don’t know anything about music. — Sam

Find a few good buddies and start a blog. You’ll know you’re onto something when you start getting haters. — CMW

What day did Toby Keith make his Grand Ole Opry debut?
The day a tremor of 3.7 magnitude was detected around George D. Hay’s grave. — Sam

Fat dog, skinny dog, little itty bitty dog… sorry, what was the question? — CMW

What cool things does Miranda Lambert do at her concerts?
She manages to put on a concert without multiple costume changes, waterfalls or levitating pickup trucks. — Sam

Yeah, but I hear the levitating trucks are in the works. — Jim

When is Keith Anderson coming out with a new CD?
I’ll bet Keith Anderson is wondering the same thing. — CMW

How did I get so sloppy drunk when I was drinking neat?
It’s a logical consequence. Are you sure you know what ‘drinking neat’ means? — CMW

Who plays steel guitar for Alan Jackson?
One of the busiest men in Nashville, thank goodness. — CMW

Bucky Covington, he was saying, “I love you.”
That’s just your Bucky-crush speaking. He was actually saying, “I love you, Atlanta!” before walking off stage. I’m sorry to break the news. — Jim