Mailbag: Where can I find country for people who hate country?
What would Kristofferson do?
Drink your beer for nothing and steal your song. — Brody
What songs did Carrie Underwood write on Carnival Ride?
Underwood is credited as co-writing the songs “All American Girl,” “So Small,” and “Last Name”–coincidentally the album’s first three singles. — Jim
How to invest in country music singers?
I’d say buy their tickets and go to their concerts, purchase their albums, join a fan club, call radio stations, and use word of mouth to spread the [insert artist here] love. Doing one of, or all of, those things allow you to invest in prolonging the artists career. If by “invest” you mean stocks and Wall Street, I can’t help you. — Brody
What do real people think of Taylor Swift?
OMG, that she’s like, totally awesome!!! — Jim
How to get a website shutdown?
I’m not a paranoid person, but I think we’re being targeted. — Brody
I am a boy. How do I braid my hair by myself?
Physically, it’s just as difficult as it would be for a girl, but I can imagine that you might experience some additional emotional conflict. — Matt
Where can I listen to only the background music to “So Small?”
Somebody either really dislikes Carrie Underwood’s vocals or wants to get their karaoke on. — Brody
Who wrote “Back When I Knew It All?”
Gary Hannan, Phil O’Donnell and Trent Willmon. Read Matt’s review of the song. — Brody
Why isn’t Ralph Stanley in the Country Music Hall of Fame?
It’s tough to make the argument that this bluegrass legend is a practitioner of country music. While the Country Music Hall of Fame has inducted several bluegrass artists, most (Bill Monroe, Flatt & Scruggs, etc.) have also contributed substantially to the development of country music, and the Hall hasn’t yet deemed Stanley worthy of this honor. Stanley is a member of the Grand Ole Opry and the International Bluegrass Music Hall of Honor. — Matt
What instruments are playing in Blake Shelton’s home?
I’d hope only the ones he’s holding in his hands, otherwise he should really look into calling TAPS. — Brody
Who sings with Reba McEntire on “Every Other Weekend?”
The good version, or the not as good version? Skip Ewing and Kenny Chesney both recorded versions with Reba; I’ll let you decide which is which. — Brody
Who sang the song “Hank and Lefty Raised My Country Soul?”
According to the Hank Williams International Fan Club, you can find versions by Moe Bandy, Grant Carson, Stoney Edwards and Dannu Darin. — Brody
Why does Nashville Star suck this season?
Well, they started out by getting Billy Ray Cyrus, John Rich (of Big and Rich, and let’s not forget Lonestar, fame), Jewel and Jeffrey Steele (ya know, Rascal Flatt’s fav. songwriter) together to judge a country music contest and then something went horribly wrong…. — Ben
Where can I find country for people who hate country?
Top 40 “Airhead” Country Radio. — Brody (courtesy of Rick)
What is Kenny Chesney’s “Shiftwork” song about?
I’m glad you asked that. It’s about poop. — Jim
How to look like Tiffany Falon?
If you ever find an answer, please, call me. — Matt
Why is Taylor Swift so popular?
Because, OMG, she’s like, totally awesome!!! — Jim
Does art enforce, or merely reinforce gender roles?
Don’t worry, buddy. Just check out Jim’s review of “All-American Girl” and the ensuing discussion and you’ll have that term paper written in no time. — Matt
What the hell is an International Harvester?
I’m gonna go ahead and say that if you don’t know what an International Harvester is, then I don’t know why you’re listening to country music. There’s a reason it’s called country music, not suburbia music. But maybe we should change the name. — Jim
How do hotties have fun?
Just like the uglies. — Brody
Who originally wrote the song “Mr. Bojangles?”
Jerry Jeff Walker wrote the oft-recorded song, and although the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band took the song to No. 9 on the Billboard pop chart in 1971, Walker was only able to reach No. 57 with his own version two years prior. — Brody
Are the lyrics to “I’m Still A Guy” anti-gay?
Well, the song restricts masculinity to guys who don’t like art, are armed, fight, don’t appreciate nature, don’t attend to their looks (soooo insincere Brad Paisley), and don’t have a full understanding of “no means no.” I suppose there could be some gun toting, art hating, critter killing, shabby looking, gay guys out there who like to fight and don’t take no for an answer, so strictly speaking, I’d say not anti-gay, but decide for yourselves…. — Ben
How do I get a date with Taylor Swift?
Tell her you’ll take her to prom. — Brody
What does “bob that head” mean?
I’ll defer to Billy Joe Shaver on this one. — Brody
What is the meaning of “Better As A Memory” by Kenny Chesney?
Despite all the discussion in the comments of our review of this song, I think its clear–the idea of loving the narrator will always be more powerful than the actuality of doing so. — Jim
Who is not in the Country Music Hall of Fame?
Everyone not on this list. — Brody
What kind of vegetarian is Carrie Underwood?
The kind who gets hammered in Vegas on poison baby. — Ben
Instead of saying “she is beautiful,” what should I say?
Try opening with “you’re a yellow pair of running shoes, a holey pair of jeans” and you just might score yourself a movie star. — Matt
What does Taylor Swift want in a man?
She wants him to be, like, OMG, totally awesome!!! — Jim
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65 Comments
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July 25, 2008 at 1:19 pm Permalink
“So Small” karaoke:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R3TFZzxh-FM
I’m here to help!
July 25, 2008 at 1:23 pm Permalink
You can’t help it if she kinda makes a man wanna be a miniature horse.
July 25, 2008 at 1:31 pm Permalink
Brody - You can’t mention “Mr. Bojangles” without mentioning the most famous version of the song… from everyone’s favorite glass-eyed member of the Rat Pack - sammy Davis, Jr.!
Ben - I don’t even know why someone would even ask if “I’m Still a Guy” is anti-gay. That’s like saying “Ticks” discriminates against people who don’t like camping. It’s not like you hear a ton of pro-gay country songs either, but I don’t think there’s too much country even dealing with same-sex relationships to begin with… although I still think Big & Rich’s “Lost in This Moment” would be a great first dance song at any gay wedding. :)
July 25, 2008 at 1:34 pm Permalink
We got a letter a couple of weeks ago from a gay gentleman railing against “I’m Still a Guy” for being homophobic. I just don’t hear that. It’s anti-metrosexual, but (unless I’m missing something) not anti-homosexual.
July 25, 2008 at 1:36 pm Permalink
I love mailbag days, I really do. Makes me want to send in my own silly–I mean–sincere questions just to see how you all would answer them.
July 25, 2008 at 1:39 pm Permalink
Your link to “So Small” karaoke just makes it more clear that over the last ten years, country music has added a lot of instruments and layers to its songs, but with all the musical depth, it’s added no substance. It’s just a lot of instruments playing at the same time, with little to no cohesiveness.
July 25, 2008 at 1:42 pm Permalink
lol @ Peter Kohan
I’ve been a Big & Rich fan since the beginning, but I can see why people would find it problematic for them to sing a love song (”Lost,” “I Pray for You,” “Eternity” — ooh, a threesome with John Legend!) because all of their songs are more duetic than other country duos.
And yes, I’m trying to get the word “duetic” to become fully used in everyday conversation.
July 25, 2008 at 1:45 pm Permalink
Q. What is Kenny Chesney’s “Shiftwork” song about?
A. About 4 minutes 29 seconds too long.
Oh, and while I’m on a roll, I liked “Last Name” better when it was called “I Don’t Even Know Your Name”.
July 25, 2008 at 1:50 pm Permalink
Q: What would Kristofferson do?
A: Talk about Big Kenny’s hat before “8th of November.”
July 25, 2008 at 2:05 pm Permalink
Chris N.
yeah but what problem does it have with metrosexuality? He’s not saying that he’s against it because it’s vain and shallow, or that it’s exclusionary because people who are working to make ends meet can’t afford all the grooming, dieting, exercise, fashion purchases that go into being a metrosexual.
The song is against metrosexuality because it’s feminine, that’s it. The song is saying “the only true guys” are guys like me. So unless a gay guy is just like Brad Paisley’s character in the song (gun toting, violent, sexually aggressive, unsophisticated, etc etc) then he isn’t really a “guy” or (because Paisley doesn’t differentiate) a “man”. Since the stereotypical gay guy, or the pop culture form of a gay guy, isn’t that way, I think that it’s fair to say that the song is broadly anti-homosexual.
But I agree that, for what it’s worth, they leave themselves more than enough wiggle room to say “no, its against men who take on any ‘feminine’ qualities whatsoever. It just so happens that wanting to have sex with men is feminine, that’s all.”
July 25, 2008 at 2:06 pm Permalink
Stephen H.,
I think that collectively we all swore to pretend that never happened. Don’t ruin it.
July 25, 2008 at 2:14 pm Permalink
“How to look like Tiffany Falon?”
If you ever find an answer, please, call me. — Matt
Man, I’d settle for looking at Tiffany Falon.
July 25, 2008 at 2:17 pm Permalink
That’s the thing, though — I wouldn’t really describe the gay guys I know as feminine. (Except for the whole “having sex with men” thing.)
July 25, 2008 at 2:39 pm Permalink
Chris N,
totally dude, I’m certainly not saying that gay guys aren’t “men” or aren’t “masculine”. But the metrosexual thing is pretty heavily associated with “queer eye for the straight guy” and the term itself is a play on homosexual meant to associate the two.
Naturally I think that Paisley’s definition of a “guy” and masculinity is way too restrictive (”you may see art, but real guys only see porn” whatever) but let me ask you, do your gay friends, or any gay guys you know, or any guy characters in television, books, or film that you know of meet Paisley’s definition of a “guy”?
July 25, 2008 at 2:44 pm Permalink
How to look like Tiffany Falon?
If you ever find an answer, please, call me. — Matt
Two words:
Plastic Surgery
July 25, 2008 at 2:53 pm Permalink
I don’t know any guys period who meet Paisley’s definition to a T. Certainly not any guys I want to hang out with that much. I don’t think the song is homophobic so much as real-person-phobic.
July 25, 2008 at 2:53 pm Permalink
These crack me up. Thanks, after the day I’ve had at work, I needed a really good laugh :)
July 25, 2008 at 2:55 pm Permalink
but does she look so good now that she popped out that kid with the absurd name —
I havent laughed this hard in days — where do these people come from???
July 25, 2008 at 2:59 pm Permalink
I don’t think the song is homophobic so much as real-person-phobic.
damn you! I was looking to make that joke, but couldn’t find the right turn of phrase. “real-person-phobic”, well done.
July 25, 2008 at 3:11 pm Permalink
Yeah Dan, I’m with you!
July 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm Permalink
I’m with Stormy (again it seems); fake bodies are icky
July 25, 2008 at 3:17 pm Permalink
I dunno, I’m just not buying the anti-homosexual argument and don’t see what’s so polarizing about the song. A work of art it is not, but it isn’t completely ignorant or phobic, either. It’s an obvious perpetuation of stereotypes and definitely not something to get up in arms about. It even acknowledges the stereotype that men like that are comparable to cave man and he’s just saying, “Hey, it’s who I am.”
While we’re on the subject, though, check out the Snickers commercial that got pulled for being “homophobic.”
July 25, 2008 at 3:23 pm Permalink
I don’t know, I’m definitely not “up in arms” about it, and didn’t see fit to say anything about it in my review of the song, but to me it seems that the song sets the pre-conditions for drawing a dichotomy between “men” and “gay guys”. But I admit there’s plenty of room to not see it that way.
I’ll agree that the uproar over the Snicker’s commercial was ridiculous though. I’ll draw the comparison to the New Yorker cover, it’s making fun of homophobic guys, not endorsing homophobia.
July 25, 2008 at 3:29 pm Permalink
damn you! I was looking to make that joke, but couldn’t find the right turn of phrase. “real-person-phobic”, well done.
Hey, if you can’t take the heat…
Just kiddin’. Thanks for the props, and I really enjoyed your Carrie joke in the post, if it’s any consolation!
July 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm Permalink
My favorite question and answer by far is:
“Where can I find country for people who hate country?
Top 40 “Airhead” Country Radio. — Brody (courtesy of Rick)”
Well, I do have to admit the responses to all the Taylor Swift questions are a close second! (lol)
These mail call topic threads are a hoot. Keep up the good work “guys” (if indeed you meet Brad Paisley’s strict qualifications..)
July 25, 2008 at 3:44 pm Permalink
“Do your gay friends, or any gay guys you know, or any guy characters in television, books, or film that you know of meet Paisley’s definition of a ‘guy’?”
Not really, nor do any of my straight friends (or me, for that matter). Which takes us back to Dan’s point.
July 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm Permalink
eh, I guess I’ll concede that it’s homo-phobic, but only insofar as it’s real-person-phobic
July 25, 2008 at 3:47 pm Permalink
Peter: Are you that guy who keeps tapping me on the shoulder and running away?
July 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm Permalink
I think ‘Im Still A Guy’ probably isnt much of a representation of Brad Paisley’s actual perception of what a real guy is. I would be willing to be, its more a representation of what all guys wants to be, and therefore a good way to exploit the markey and make good money. I dont think its supposed to be a classic, nor is it supposed to be art. I think its supposed to be dinner on his plate. And honestly, I think im ok with that.
July 25, 2008 at 3:54 pm Permalink
“its more a representation of what all guys wants to be”
really??????
July 25, 2008 at 3:58 pm Permalink
Well, perhaps I didnt state that quite the way I meant to. What I mean is, alot of guys want to be perceived as this macho, no fru fru kinda guy, despite the fact that they loved “how to lose a guy in ten days” as much as their wife did.
July 25, 2008 at 4:42 pm Permalink
Not my style, Stormy - I’m likely the one who keeps looking at you and then looking away when you look back LOL
July 25, 2008 at 6:08 pm Permalink
Carrie also has credits on the track “Crazy Dreams” on Carnival Ride, FYI.
July 25, 2008 at 6:57 pm Permalink
And didn’t she cowrite “I Told You So” with Bruce Traywick?
July 25, 2008 at 7:02 pm Permalink
Didn’t Randy Travis write “I Told You So”?
July 25, 2008 at 8:01 pm Permalink
I would like to hear a song written entirely by Carrie Underwood. Including her in songwriting sessions with top writers so she can make comments or add a line here or there doesn’t tell us how much of the end product is her contribution. Heck, I bet you if I were in a songwriting session along with Jeffrey Steele, Sally Barris, and Brett James collectively “we” could come up with a hit song if Carrie would sing it for us….
July 25, 2008 at 8:04 pm Permalink
Randy Travis wrote “I Told You So” (when Carrie was 5!).
July 25, 2008 at 8:32 pm Permalink
1)Taylor Swift comments hilarious!
2)the Rascal Flatts comments also HILARIOUS!
3)Also “What is Shiftwork about”
About 3:29 too long ROFL!!
July 25, 2008 at 9:18 pm Permalink
Apparently no one caught my sarcasm, although I meant to type Randy (Bruce) Traywick, Travis’ given name. So yes, Chris N., I knew that Carrie was 5 when it was written, but she probably still contributed more to that song than the three singles she “co-wrote” (in that she didn’t contribute a lick). Now that I’ve explained my sarcasm, hopefully things are a little more clear.
July 25, 2008 at 9:34 pm Permalink
Most of the so-called co-writes involving the recording artist are little more than an attempt to beef up the artists royalties at the expense of the actual songwriters. This is an ancient practice (Elvis never actually wrote or co-wrote any songs either) but nowadays the artist sits in and adds or changes a word or two in order to claim the co-writing credit, whereas in Elvis’ day they simply added his name to the credits
Most of todays’ songs have little memorable about them, other than the production and that’s because too many of them are committee-written
July 26, 2008 at 12:45 am Permalink
Paul and Rick,
You can guarantee that’s all Jessica Simpson and Kellie Pickler were other than maybe talking with writers about what they want the song to convey. I doubt either them, or Underwood for that matter could write a song by themselves.
A certain artist who’s constantly getting himself into public personal problems and records for Capital Records is known as one of those ‘idea’ writers around town.
Probably 2/3 to 4/5 of all ’singer/songwriter’ artists are actually of this ilk. Even some who get credits on other artist’s albums.
idlewyldsouth,
Guys who cry or tear up will usually blame their ‘allergies.’ I do think that not ALL guys want to be what paisley says, I know I certainly don’t (I don’t like hunting and I certainly don’t understand all art) and I’m quite far from a ‘girly guy.’
July 26, 2008 at 8:21 am Permalink
Well, Matt, if you happen to be hinting at Chris Cagle, Scott Hendricks, apparently, didn’t even like the songs on which Cagle contributed ideas, since he advised him to stay away from his own songs for his current album.
July 26, 2008 at 9:55 am Permalink
“the idea of loving the narrator will always be more powerful than the actuality of doing so”
That’s inspired.
July 26, 2008 at 10:22 am Permalink
Leeann,
Ding! Ding! Ding! He was also targeted to hit #1 when he got charged with assault and some stations stopped spinning the song.
July 26, 2008 at 10:34 am Permalink
Is that what also kept “No Love Songs” from getting much airplay, or was that more because the song sucked?
July 26, 2008 at 10:39 am Permalink
Stephen H,
It was a combination of both. But since it’s cleared up, I think he might win back some ‘favor’ if he releases the right song from the album.
July 26, 2008 at 10:41 am Permalink
I should add that on the flipside of the songwriter/major label artist thing, we have a Garth Brooks who will change sometimes a lot of a song and take no credit for it whatsoever.
July 26, 2008 at 11:07 am Permalink
The late Fred Rose had a lot of co-writes and he probably could have claimed co-writing credt on many more songs, especially a lot of the Hank Sr classics.
Then there is the story of a Tammy Wynette classic D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Bobby Braddock wrote the words and a melody. Later, Tree song plugger Curley Putman made a few suggestions for the melody and Braddock insisted that Putman share the royalties, calling his original melody “goofy” and insisting that “The song never stirred up that much interest until Curley made those changes, and what he did just really brought it to life.”
Of course Curley Putman was more than a mere song plugger, having already written “The Green Green Grass of Home”
July 26, 2008 at 3:05 pm Permalink
Don’t forget–labels want artists to co-write so they can take advantage of the controlled composition clause.
July 26, 2008 at 3:40 pm Permalink
“[The meaning of “Better As A Memory” is that] the idea of loving the narrator will always be more powerful than the actuality of doing so”
What a coincidence; I was just thinking the other day that “Better Than A Memory” is a great idea for a song that doesn’t quite hold up in actuality (although that’s more because of the lyrical choices than the conceit). So it’s a song about being better as an idea that is itself better as an idea. Kind of like how Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” doesn’t have any examples of actual irony…kind of? Hopefully someone else hasn’t already made this observation about the Chesney song; that would just crush me.
July 26, 2008 at 4:19 pm Permalink
I’m a big bad spammer!
July 26, 2008 at 9:35 pm Permalink
Advertising is supposed to cost money, dude.
July 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm Permalink
Hank Ray this is the age of the internet…if you are going to plug a band like that you had better give a link to listen to what they do!!! So many words and no music makes me leary already
July 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm Permalink
Great, a country-punk band featuring one of Buck’s sons that sounds like it will be a cross breeding of Buck, Hank III, and Black Flag! Should be one of the more unusal bands to ever grace the stage at the Crystal Palace. Alcohol sales will surely spike that night! (lol) All those words and no mention of Red Simpson or Trout’s Bar in Oildale. Hmmmm………
Chris, speaking of money, I’ve renewed my subscription to “(Airhead) Country Weekly” because you are a cool guy! Well, that and the article on Fred Eaglesmith, Star DeAzlan’s chile rellenos, and especially the photo of Danielle Peck on the inside of the last page……(lol)
July 26, 2008 at 11:26 pm Permalink
Rick,
An article on Eaglesmith is perfectly reasonable justification for purchasing ACW! In fact, an article on Eaglesmith would be a perfectly reasonable justification for purchasing pretty much any magazine, excluding perhaps SAUCY BOVINE ADVENTURES MONTHLY.
July 26, 2008 at 11:46 pm Permalink
In response to the headline question “where can I find Country for people who hate Country?” I am unable to understand the response of “Top 40 “Airhead” Country Radio. — Brody (courtesy of Rick)” since that is EXACTLY the type of cuntry most people hate. I hated cuntry until a couple of years ago when 92.5 KZPS started mixing Outlaw Country young and old into the mix and I’ve been a fan ever since (of Outlaw Country, not KZPS, they lost their way, listen to KHYI instead). My point is I have 2 friends at work who used to hate cuntry but now 1 is a fan of Hank III and the other is a fan of Shooter Jennings because I exposed them to the good stuff and not the “Top 40 “Airhead” Country Radio. — Brody (courtesy of Rick)”
Brody, Rick… that crap doesn’t do anybody any good
rhh
July 27, 2008 at 12:21 am Permalink
The other day one of my buds said “i like country as long as it doesn’t have any steel guitar, fiddles, banjo’s or mandolins”- absolutely baffling
July 27, 2008 at 6:47 am Permalink
that is baffling. that is like saying that “i like tequila as long as there is no alcohol in it…”
July 27, 2008 at 8:55 am Permalink
Whatever it takes, Rick!
July 27, 2008 at 12:21 pm Permalink
I actually get a lot of the other side: “Well I like Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson, but I don’t like the Tim McGraw/Kenny Chesney stuff.”
I really pissed off the Carrie Underwood fans by turning all the people they assumed hated country (because they didn’t like Carrie) onto country.
July 27, 2008 at 2:17 pm Permalink
Stormy,
I get the same thing! Actually, my husband doesn’t consider himself a country music fan, but he absolutely loves Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and Hank Williams. Strange.
July 27, 2008 at 4:06 pm Permalink
Leeann, your husband is a “true country” fan but not an “airhead country” fan, thus the confusion if he thinks country music is defined by the craptastic stuff that dominates Top 40 country radio these days…
I’m excited! I just checked the calendar for Sarafi Sams and in the coming weeks they will be featuring 1100 Springs, Deke Dickerson, Bob Schneider, The Knitters, Dave Alvin, Peter Case with the Hacienda Brothers, and Mike Stinson among others. McCabe’s Guitar Shop features a lot of great Americana artists, but Safari Sam’s is the spiritual successor to The Palomino! Now such a line up would be a yawner in Texas, but this is LA for goodness sakes!
July 27, 2008 at 4:11 pm Permalink
Rick: These people don’t consider themselves country fans at all. In fact, if asked, they would say they hate country.
July 27, 2008 at 6:56 pm Permalink
I’ve heard people say a million times stuff like ‘I love Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson, but I hate country music’. They don’t seem to realise that’s like saying ‘I hate the blues, but I love Robert Johnson and Muddy Waters’.
August 6, 2008 at 1:43 pm Permalink
“despite the fact that they loved “how to lose a guy in ten days” as much as their wife did”
hahaha, I actually “borrowed” that one from my previous girlfriend when we broke up… I still have it.
… I think I’ll go back to being silent now.
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