Mailbag: What Would Kristofferson Do?

Staff | August 28th, 2008

Does the lyric “my only friends are pirates” make sense?
Arrr, matey! It makes perfect sense is ye lives out on the open seas like Cap’n Chesney! – Jim

What to do today in Kern county?
Whatever you do, don’t swim in Kern River. – Brady

How do you get on an NFL practice squad?
Stop growing at about 5’6″, lose your hair, and wear really tight jeans, then the Saints might be willing to let you catch a few punts in practice. – Brady

What does “Bob That Head” mean?
Just nod your head to the beat of the music. – Brady

How old is Ray Price?
Price was born on January 12th, 1926, making him 82 years young. – Jim

How do people buy music?
Wait, people still buy music? – Jim

What did Katie Cook wear for the Nashville Star finale?
While not quite a nudie suit, it was titillating to say the least. – Not Brady

How many encores did Hank Williams do when he sang “Lovesick Blues” on the Grand Ole Opry?
Some accounts place the number at an unprecedented and yet-to-be-matched six encores. – Brady

Why does “Our Song” say “slow” instead of “low?”
Have you ever noticed that the volume of a person’s voice goes down when they talk more slowly? – Jim

How does Taylor Swift break up with jerk boyfriends?
She pokes the voodoo dolls she’s undoubtedly created and burns their pictures, then sends them a text message telling ‘em it’s all over. Of course, she writes a song about it afterwards. – Brady

Why isn’t Gretchen Wilson played on radio?
Because her fifteen minutes has officially expired. – Jim

What would Kristofferson do?
Write better songs than “Like Kristofferson Would Do.” – Jim

Finish the phrase: Jason and the ______?
Jason and the Wiggles? – Jim

Did Kid Rock steal “All Summer Long” from Chesney?
No. – Jim

When is Julio Iglesias, Jr.’s single coming out?
I thought we were supposed to be making the jokes. – Brady

Who are all of Lorrie Morgan’s ex-husbands?
Now you’re just being mean. – Brady

If you want the actual names of Lorrie Morgan’s ex-husbands, they are (in order): Ron Gaddis, Keith Whitley, Brad Thompson, Jon Randall, Sammy Kershaw. – Matt

What happened to Adam Gregory on Midas?
Gregory is still on Midas, but distribution and promotion will be handled by Big Machine. – Jim

When did Trace Adkins say his new album would be released?
Adkins’ new album will be in stores and online starting November 25th. – Jim

Where can I get a camo hat like John Rich?
Choose your style: Ugly, Realtree, Battalion, Ghost Camo, Beanie, or Urban Camo with recentered logo – Brady

1 Ping

  1. [...] On August Mailbag - What Would Kristofferson Do?: "Katie Cook going over to GAC would be reason enough to watch CMT. I suggest that Ms Cook and Ms Alexander and their ilk purchase a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word "amazing". Maybe then they would quit using the word to describe things that are in the mediocre-to-good range." — Paul W Dennis [...]
  1. frozenphan
    August 28, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    What’s the over/under on the first station to go all Christmas music?

  2. Mike Parker
    August 28, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Jason and the Wiggles… priceless. Especially since my ringtone right now is Farmer Jason with Todd Snider “Moose on the Loose”….

  3. Stormy
    August 28, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    Technically Keith Whitley would be Lorrie’s LATE husband, not an EX husband.

  4. PaulaW
    August 28, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Well gee Stormy, he’s dead, how do you expect him to be on time? (ok, really bad, I know, I’m sorry. No offense intended, I really liked Keith and still listen to his music.)

    I didnt realized she’d been married to Jon Randall though.

  5. Thomas
    August 28, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    if keith whitley is her late husband are his successors even later ones? moreover, can they really be called successors, given the fact, that their ties with lorrie morgan weren’t actually quite such a success?

  6. JarheadDad
    August 28, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    Katie Cook looks anorexic or maybe even bolemic. Must be hangin’ out with that Underwood chick!

    Long Live Cleavage!

    Signed,
    Knuckledragger

  7. Rick
    August 28, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    I wish both Katie Cook and Lance Smith would defect to GAC as Suzanne Alexander and Storme Warren need some help over there. If they did go to GAC I would no longer have any reason to watch CMT and that would be a blessing….

    As for Taylor Swift, now her ex-boyfriends can get even and purchase Taylor Swift fashion dolls to use as voodoo dolls and then burn in effigy (although that might not be environmentally friendly)….

  8. Paul W Dennis
    August 29, 2008 at 5:34 am

    Katie Cook going over to GAC would be reason enough to watch CMT. I suggest that Ms Cook and Ms Alexander and their ilk purchase a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word “amazing”. Maybe then they would quit using the word to describe things that are in the mediocre-to-good range

  9. Thomas
    August 29, 2008 at 7:18 am

    i’m also constantly amazed how amazing this amazing world can be. but perhaps i’m just an excitable boy.

  10. J.R. Journey
    August 29, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Paul said ” … I suggest that Ms Cook and Ms Alexander and their ilk purchase a dictionary and look up the meaning of the word “amazing”. Maybe then they would quit using the word to describe things that are in the mediocre-to-good range.”

    I was thinking the same thing after watching this week’s CMT Insider. Just in case those gals are reading the mailbag here at the 9513, I took the liberty of looking up the word amazing in the online thesaurus. Click the link to increase your vocabulary by 1,300%, ladies …

    Thesaurus

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