Mailbag: How To Date Taylor Swift?

Where to find free Christmas songs for free?
Not sure, but there are lots of websites that sell Christmas songs for sale. — CM

What was the big surprise at the CMA Awards?
That the show was even worse than I expected. — Jim

That Milli Vanilli did not make an appearance. — CM

What rock star likes to show off his butt?
Joe Don Rooney of Rascal Flatts. — Jim

When did Shel Silverstein win a Grammy?

Fans of Silverstein thought it divine
When he won a Grammy in ‘69
Fifteen years later he won one more
And that was his last, back in ‘84. — CM

Who wrote the song “I’ll Walk?”
Brent Wilson and Lonnie Fowler. — Jim

Who is Roni Stoneman’s sister?
Ernest Stoneman and his wife Hattie had 14 children, including Roni. Dean, Donna, Eddie, Gene, Grace, James, John, Juanita, Pattie, William, Reta, Scott, Van, and Veronica. — Jim

Which is the better Brad Paisley album: 5th Gear or Play?
Are you just trying to get Ben all riled up again? — CM

How to make cowboy boots out of felt?
Going for style over functionality, are we? — Jim

Why did Richie McDonald leave Lonestar?
Artistic differences. Richie wanted to make one kind of mediocre music while his former bandmates wanted to make a different kind of mediocre music. — CM

Richie McDonald, how do I stop?
How ’bout you don’t? — The Lost Trailers

How did Carrie Underwood get her start?
Well, she grew up in a quaint little town in Oklahoma and was a singer ever since she was a baby. Carrie dropped out of high school, left home, and earned her stripes playing honkytonks and road houses throughout the Midwest and South. After years of empty rooms and tip jars, she moved to Nashville on a whim, where she worked as a waitress. One day, as closing time approached, there was just one customer left way in the back of the dining area. Carrie popped a quarter in the jukebox and began to sing along to her favorite Loretta Lynn song while mopping the cracked tile floors. Turns out, the man in the back happened to be famed producer Dann Huff. He recognized her talent, offered to help her get a record deal, and the rest is history. — Pierce

Why won’t Carrie Underwood perform at rodeos?
As a vegetarian she will not eat meat, let alone sing to it — Kelly

Why did Carrie Underwood write so small?
Because she could only afford one piece of paper. — CM

What is a holler?
A place in the country where really bad records are made, evidently — Kelly

When does the Jason Aldean CD, Relentless, come out?
Not until March 29th, 2007. Oh, the agony of waiting. — Jim

Who wrote “Don’t Tell Mama I Was Drinking?”
“Don’t Tell Mama” was penned by Buddy Brock, Jerry Laseter, and Kim Williams. The song has appeared on albums by Ty Herndon, Gary Allan, and The Grascals. — CM

What does “burn your playhouse down” mean?
Someone apparently didn’t have a jealous older brother when they were growing up… — Pierce

Where does Johnny Rodriguez live?
He lives in Texas and has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I’m not sure how those facts are related, but Wikipedia saw fit to put them together and that’s good enough for me. — CM

What should I wear to an intimate concert performance with Sugarland?
Shame…and black pumps — Kelly

What kind of people most enjoy finger painting?
Toddlers, mental patients, Taylor Swift fans. Yeah, I said it. — CM

What is Julio Iglesias, Jr. up to now?
Ignoring phone calls from John Rich. — CM

How to date Taylor Swift?
That’s what I’m tryin’ to figure out. — Jim

If the love interests in her songs are any indication, just pop your collar and be a jerk and she’ll eventually find you. — CM