Live Blog: Nashville Star, Season Six, Episode Six

Our Nashville Star live blogs and comments may be filled with sardonic wit, but don’t get us wrong: here at The 9513, we really want the Nashville Star contestants to succeed. Yes, even you, Coffey. So, for this week’s theme of love songs, I’ve taken the liberty of giving the contestants some advice. Of course, I don’t expect them to listen to me, so I’ll also predict where the contestants will go astray. So, gentle readers, please lend the fledgling Nashville stars a hand and post your own suggestions below.

What the contestants should perform:

Gabe Garcia: “I Cross My Heart” or “Wanted.” Gabe has tried on many different styles during the show’s run, but the one that fits best is George Strait-style honky-tonk, and that makes me want to hear him sing another Strait song, like “I Cross My Heart,” especially if he plans to pull a stool to the edge of the stage and sing to Jewel, just like Dusty sang to Harley in Pure Country. However, I’d like to hear him try on a less honky-tonk, more mainstream neo-traditional country sound, and I think that Alan Jackson’s “Wanted” should fit well.

Melissa Lawson: “Today I Started Loving You Again.” I won’t be sold on Melissa Lawson until I hear her sing a song that gives her no chance to show off her “pipes.” This is that song.

Ashlee Hewitt: “That’ll Be The Day.” If the Nashville Star producers are allowed to stretch the definition of “country,” I’m certainly allowed to stretch the definition of “love song.” The Buddy Holly classic done Linda Ronstadt style would be a perfect fit for this folk-rocker.

Laura & Sophie: “Does He Love You?” I don’t mean to brag, but…this is the perfect song choice for them. Their hairbrush routine has stopped working now that they’re not getting along, so let them act like love rivals. This song is a true female-female duet that gives them both a chance to solo, and that’s important because the non-stop harmony is wearing thin. And really, there’s nothing like a good cheating song to shake those criticisms of “immature.”

Shawn Mayer: “She’s Got You.” I’m having a hard time deciding whether Shawn Mayer is for real or not. There’s not much time left, so I say that it’s time to throw her some Patsy and let her sink or swim.

Coffey: “Deeper Than the Holler.” Can’t you just hear it? “My love is deeper than the holler — come on! — stronononononongerrrrrrr thanananan the riiiiiiiiverereres, oooooohhhhhh yeah…” With Coffey, I know that it’s going to be god-awful, so I either have to be disgusted when he butchers a good song or infuriated when he sings a terrible song. It’s supposed to be a country competition, so bring on the Randy Travis.

What the contestants will perform:

Gabe Garcia: “Must be Doing Something Right.” This one’s cheating, since this performance has already been confirmed. Apparently, Gabe’s latest fashion is achy pop-country sex idol.

Melissa Lawson: “I Will Always Love You.” No, she doesn’t know that Dolly Parton wrote and sang it, and that will become abundantly clear when she starts reaching for the Whitney notes. Expect John Rich to embark on one of his “defend country music” crusades and remind Melissa that this song was written for Porter Wagoner, to which Melissa will respond with a befuddled, “who?”

Ashlee Hewitt: “My Heart Will Go On.” She’ll make Jewel proud and do this one all nasally and squeaky.

Laura & Sophie: “Our Song.” After being panned by the judges two weeks in a row, I think they’ve basically capitulated and are going to return to the teenybopper bread-and-butter.

Shawn Mayer: “How Do I Live.” Shawn’s made great strides over the past two weeks, but watch her fiddle (well, actually, I doubt that we’ll be hearing one of those) it all away with a non-descript performance of a song that we’re all pretty much sick of hearing (for the record, I’d love for the Nashville Star producers to show a video of “How Do I Live Wars, Part II: Shawn vs. Melissa).

Coffey: “Amazed.” He’s feeling the pressure to choose something that kind of resembles a country song, but can’t stomach singing something that actually is a country song, so this one works.

As always, our live blog begins at 8 p.m. central.

8:55 – Matt C: Two contestants are going home again this week, so if NBC continues the USA Network practice of a three contestant finale, that means that there are only three Nashville Star episodes left. We’ll start the countdown in a few minutes.

9:03 – Matt C: Ashlee Hewitt will perform “Cowboy, Take Me Away,” which will be her most country performance of the competition by my reckoning.

9:04 – Matt C: She has the Taylor Swift hair and the Taylor Swift breathy, pitchy performance going on tonight. Somebody get her a prom dress.

9:05 – Matt C: I have no idea what Ashlee’s doing here. She’s trying to bend some notes like she’s never done before, and she just ran out of air at least three times.

9:07 – Matt C: JR is right about Ashley looking comfortable, even though she stepped out of her folk-rock wheelhouse. Beyond that, I’m in total disagreement with the judges.

9:08 – Matt C: Nashville Star is interrupted for an American Gladiators promo. Surely, no one’s given up on this show.

9:12 – Matt C: If “Must Be Doing Something Right” is your song…are you really in a long-term relationship yet?

9:14 – Matt C: Gabe Garcia sounds great again tonight (minus that ill-advised falsetto). This performance is supremely professional, if not very engaging.

9:15 – Matt C: Chris N.: Which judge will be the first to tell him he’s “doing something right”?

9:18 – Matt C: Jewel keeps telling Gabe to “flirt with the audience,” but I think that he deserves some credit for finding something redeeming in a song whose video proved that it’s basically nothing more than a musical soft core porno.

9:20 – Matt C: Gabe has the opposite problem pf most potential Nashville Star winners. Instead of repeating the one thing that he’s good at ten times, he’s left us trying to figure out what kind of record he would make.

9:22 – Matt C: Apparently Coffey has a bit of an Oedipus complex.

9:23 – Matt C: I know that I tell you every week about how god-awful and annoying Coffey’s little vocal trill is, but I’m going to keep telling you because it really destroys everything else about his performances.

9:24 – Matt C: For those of you not watching, Coffey just dropped two lines of the song, ostensibly due to an “emotional moment.”

9:26 – Matt C: To hear these judges talk, every country singer should be Fiona Apple.

9:27 – Matt C: Chris N.: Apparently the acoustics in the hall make everything sound way better.

9:30 – Matt C: So only one contestant is going home? What happened, did the show pick up another 12 viewers last week? If so, please address all thank you notes to The 9513, Austin, TX.

9:32 – Matt C: I don’t want to dwell on Melissa Lawson’s weight, but she’s made it an indispensable part of her image. Needless to say, Melissa and Martina think about different things when they sing “my baby loves me just the way that I am.”

9:34 – Matt C: Melissa’s put a decent number of vocal tricks into this performance. It’s more interesting than her previous performances, but it doesn’t really make any sense.

9:35 – Matt C: Jeffrey and John are right: Melissa over-sang. There were too many cheap corner bar tricks in that song.

9:38 – Matt C: Rick: If Melissa doesn’t win I think she has a promising future in the professional karaoke circuit! She may be an okay singer, but I don’t attach “artist” to her…..

9:42 – Matt C: Wow, I almost hit my Laura & Sophie prediction. It’s not “Our Song,” but “Picture to Burn.”

9:42 – Matt C: Dan M.: Is it just me, or have Laura and Sophie gone through so much puberty very suddenly?

9:43 – Matt C: So this is what a Taylor Swift song sounds like when it’s kind of in tune. It still sounds really bad.

9:45 – Matt C: Jewel just uttered one of the most arrogantly ditsy and clumsy lines that I’ve ever heard on national television.

9:49 – Matt C: That was a horrible performance, but the judges aren’t even trying to play fair with Laura & Sophie anymore. The judges, especially Rich, have been arrogant throughout, but that was the first real “jackass” moment. Apparently one of the duo rolled her eyes at Jewel last week, and that’s all the Rich and Jewel. wanted to talk about. Jewel had a Paris Hilton moment and suggested that “maybe you had a seizure.”

9:50 – Matt C: Dan M.: Watching John and Jewel interact with the girls was like sitting in on the most uncomfortable “family meeting” ever.

9:50 – Matt C: George Jones is at this thing? GEORGE JONES?!

9:51 – Matt C: Normally I wouldn’t complain about too many cheating songs, and I wish that there were more on radio, but no one’s even trying to stick with the theme tonight. Shawn Mayer is performing “Before He Cheats.”

9:53 – Matt C: Shawn’s version had a lot more personality than the average Carrie Underwood song. Unfortunately, Shawn’s an average vocalist competing with an iconic performance by a great vocalist.

9:55 – Matt C: I’m going to be really upset unless I get some evidence that George Jones is not in fact in the audience.

9:55 – Matt C: Laura & Sophie are going home. Coffey would have been a better choice, but Laura & Sophie have crashed and burned spectacularly over the last three weeks.

9:56 – Matt C: Chris N.: OMG WTF you guys?

9:58 – Matt C: Maybe George Jones just licensed his name to Nashville Star, like he did for breakfast biscuits and “White Lightning water.”

9:59 – Matt C: The best news of the night: NBC is resurrecting original songs week. That should be…entertaining.

10:02 – Matt C: See everybody next week. I’ll post a wrap-up shortly.

10:15 – Matt C: Wrap-up:

We didn’t learn anything new this week, so, nothing has changed from my perspective. I’m still intrigued by Shawn Mayer and am starting to come around to Ashlee Hewitt, but neither one has delivered the sensational performance that could bring me around.

Best Performance: Shawn Mayer, “Before He Cheats.”

Worst Performance: Laura & Sophie, “Picture to Burn.”

Should be eliminated: Coffey

Will be eliminated: Coffey

Should win: Gabe Garcia

Will win: Melissa Lawson