June Mailbag: Is Jamey Johnson Still Alive?

Is Jamey Johnson still alive?
Didn’t he die on the cross for our sins? Oh right, that was Jesus. I get them confused sometimes. — CMW

Jamey Johnson lives forever in the children’s eyes. — Jim

More so than his brand of country music. — Karlie

What does the AP style guide say about alright?
It’s algood. — Andrew Lacy

Is Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton still together?
Yes, it is not broken. — Jim

How old do you have to be to be on Can You Duet?
At least as old as Naomi Judd’s current pair of false eyelashes — Kelly

What is country music known for?
According to CMT, it’s the B-52’s, Bryan Adams and Def Leppard. — Ken

For being so rock — Kelly

Its frequent appearances after “except” in the sentence “I like all kinds of music…” — CMW

Where do county music listeners live?
In a minivan down by the river. — Andrew Lacy

An idyllic dream world. — Jim

What do country music listener’s expect from a song?
Life affirming stories about small town folks overcoming their mama’s alcoholism by meeting a soldier at church who gives kindly advice by telling a story about lost love at the county fair while sitting on the tailgate of his old pickup and wearing boots and a Johnny Cash t-shirt. (That’s 12/18 on the Farce the Music checklist for those keeping score.) — Andrew Lacy

Unrelenting optimism with a dash of twang. — CMW

…But not too much twang. — Jim

What is the song that Kristian Bush sings alone?
“The Unemployment Line Blues.” — Kelly

Does Taylor Swift sound off pitch?
Did Grizzly Adams have a beard? — Andrew Lacy

Do the tears of Chuck Norris cure cancer? — Jim

Why did Tim McGraw not join the Grand Ole Opry?
Seeing as how Tim is a staunch traditionalist, the recent inductions of Carrie Underwood and Craig Morgan have made him angr–wow, I cant get that out with a straight face. – Kelly

Despite the recent contemporary inductions, the Opry is still a traditional institution and they’re just not quite ready to induct a eunch, considering Faith Hill has half his manhood and Mike Curb the other half. — Brady

Which country star sings sideways?
Lefty Frizzell and Righty McGee. — CMW

How much do country singers pay for songs?
Judging by most of what’s played on radio today, only their souls. — Kelly

Judging by most of what’s played on radio today, way too much. — Jim

What is Todd Snider really like?
I hear that the whole lovable, rambling, peace-loving hippie thing is all a put-on and he’s actually a conniving investment banker from Brooklyn. — CMW

Commie! — Jim

How to feel about sex and power in music videos?
If I tell you how to feel, that will raise a whole other set of sex and power issues. — CMW

I feel good about sex in music videos. Power could also be good, depending on how it is wielded. — Jim

Did George Strait ever serve time in jail?
I think so. He covers “Folsom Prison Blues” in concert and doesn’t seem like a guy who would lie to his fans. — CMW

What is “Out Last Night” about?
Three minutes too long. — Ken

It’s an exploration of the existential quandary presented by the juxtaposition of the innate desire to maximize personal pleasure and moral responsibility. — Jim

Who sings backup on “Loretta Lynn’s Lincoln” with Josh Turner?
Conway Twitty’s El Camino – Andrew Lacy

Who sings “Don’t Make Me Take My Earrings Out?”
Perez Hilton. — Andrew Lacy

Keith Anderson. — Jim

What is the meaning of “Alright” by Darius Rucker?
It’s a celebration of mediocrity, both thematically and musically. — Karlie

Who is Bruce Robison Canadian Healthcare?
Wayne Gretzky. – Jim