Jessica Simpson – “Come On Over”

Jim Malec | May 29th, 2008

Jessica Simpson Songwriters: Jessica Simpson, Victoria Banks, Rachel Proctor.

Jessica Simpson’s debut “country” single, which amounts to three minutes of step-by-step instructions pertaining to the exact method by which you will leave your house/apartment and “come on over” to hers, is, without question, one of the most pointless songs I’ve ever heard.

But what were you expecting, a masterpiece?

Simpson has never shown herself to be exceptionally eloquent, nor has she ever shown that she has anything particularly interesting to say. So I’m not sure where she got the idea that being a songwriter–an activity that requires a considerable degree of linguistic dexterity–is something she’d be good at. “Leave the dishes in the sink/Leave the ice cubes in your drink,” sounds like something a fifth grader would write. And that’s one of the better lines.

And then there’s the obligatory “Hey! Look at me! I’m a Country song!” steel guitars that pervade the track. But really, what’s the point? This is straightforward proto-pop, designed to be consumed by the masses-at-large, which borrows more from Colbie Caillat than from Carrie Underwood. Adding a steel guitar, or a fiddle, or a mandolin, or a dobro, or a frickin’ Scottish bagpipe, for that matter, cannot hide or fundamentally change the nature of a song.

But regardless of the country/not country debate, “Come on Over,” is truly an exhibition in the worst that music of any genre has to offer. It’s a sweet sounding confection wrapped around a capable, even engaging vocalist, with lyrics that require absolutely zero cognitive thought.

As such, it is genuinely depressing in its blandness.

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Listen: Jessica Simpson – “Come on Over”

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  1. [...] sings a little twangier (and stronger, actually) than usual, but when it comes right down to it, as the9513’s Brody brilliantly put it, “this is nothing more than a pop song dressed in pink [...]
  1. harley
    May 29, 2008 at 7:59 am

    Music doesn’t always have to be deep and meaningful. I like the melody and whilst the lyrics are basic it seems like it is meant only as a fun catchy song.
    I think Jessica is very suited to country.

  2. Dave S
    May 29, 2008 at 8:08 am

    What’s even more surprising/disappointing/embarrassing is that Rachel Proctor was a co-writer on this song. This is the same woman who helped pen “Where Would You Be” by Martina McBride as well as a few exceptional tracks off her own solo album from a few years ago.

  3. Baron Lane
    May 29, 2008 at 8:10 am

    Big surprise. Maybe Jessica can get on the same bill as Jewel and Beyonce for the “How Not To Do Country” or “Country for People Who Hate Country” tour.

  4. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 8:11 am

    I can’t remember the last time I agreed with any music review more. This song just proves the point that many of us have been trying to make for some time now — the mainstream country has totally slipped into the abyss. I predict that it will quickly go into heavy rotation at poptry radio stations nationwide. We may even be looking at a #1 hit here. I’m also betting that she peforms (or lip-synchs) this song on the CMA show in the fall. You heard it here first.

  5. Karen
    May 29, 2008 at 8:16 am

    I kinda like it.

  6. hairandtoenails
    May 29, 2008 at 8:28 am

    Is this the same Rachel Proctor who sang, “Me and Emily?” One of the best songs on mainstream radio in 2004?

  7. Lynn
    May 29, 2008 at 8:32 am

    According to Jessica’s dad (what’s a story about her without him?): “She’s a singer from top to bottom,” Joe Simpson said. “And everything in the music business, especially pop music, has moved away from singers. And I think country is the only pure, storytelling kind of genre left.”

    This song tells a great story, doesn’t it? There’s fun country and there’s pop stupid. This falls in the latter category. Why can’t people tell the difference?

    For those interested in Jewel’s similar crossover debut, here’s a link to her entire album: http://www.iheartmusic.com/cc-common/ondemand/player.html?apid=4219&mid=183579

    After you get past “Stronger Woman,” it gets even less country, and pretty much just sounds like a normal Jewel album (with the occasional violin and steel guitar). At least she doesn’t try to force a country twang that she doesn’t have…

  8. Just saying
    May 29, 2008 at 9:06 am

    You know what Jessica needs to be given a fair shot at this. This young woman has been ridiculed long enough. It is just a cute song to draw your attention. It is for the young at heart. Is that not the draw these days?? It is the young that help start your career. Once established yo can venture off into other areas. Jewel is one that has done that as have many others. I think as Jessica moves forward in the country music industy & is more accepted that many will be pleasently surprised. The girl can sing. Don’t judge her on past judge her on current & where she is headed in her new direction. Actually today she is already at #64 & that is going into her second day of the music being played. Sure it’s not overly strong lyricaly but its’ not the first one like that. Think Shania Twain as one example of the boots under her bed song. It put her on the map didn’t it & the rest is history.
    This is an excellent start for Jessica.

  9. Chris N.
    May 29, 2008 at 9:26 am

    “It’s a sweet sounding confection wrapped around a capable, even engaging vocalist, with lyrics that require absolutely zero cognitive thought.”

    Sounds like a hit!

  10. Leeann
    May 29, 2008 at 10:26 am

    First of all, I completely agree with your review, Jim…though you’re more positive about her “engaging voice” than I would be. The song is bland on all accounts.

    Second, I was intrigued by Rachel Proctor’s name as well. I suppose that even a good songwriter writes duds, though this is a pretty glaring one.

    Third, I don’t think that I’m required to give Jessica a chance just because things haven’t been going perfectly for her. I don’t choose my favorite artists according to what’s going on in their personal lives or out of pity. With that said, I feel that I gave this song a fair shot and it did not deliver on any level.

    Finally, I actually enjoyed Jewel’s first single. I haven’t heard the rest of the album though. I’ll have to check it out.

  11. Matt C.
    May 29, 2008 at 10:32 am

    The lyric isn’t good, but it doesn’t sound half bad. I like the steel guitar. Most Rascal Flatts singles have a “hey look, we’re country” steel guitar. This single actually has a steel guitar part.

  12. JAY
    May 29, 2008 at 10:45 am

    the song is mindless- it is pure summertime fluff- and if I have to hear “she’s from Texas” one more time- my ears are going to bust- don’t be surprised to see other very high profile/respected songwriters writing “with Jessica” on her debut Country CD- I have seen photos of her w/ Aimee Mayo and Hillary Lindsey- so am sure they will be involved- I believe Jessica co-writes about as much of a lyric as Carrie Underwood does- they prob. contribute about 2 words and slap their names on it.

  13. Jarheaddad
    May 29, 2008 at 10:52 am

    But….. but….. butt….. she’s from TEXAS! How dare you give her a nasty review. That’s unAmurican! Dude! you harshed my mellow.

    Maybe in this genre she’ll keep her clothes on. That way we could all watch Chris melt down! But then after “Dukes” I doubt that’ll happen so he is safe for another little while. ;-)

    I tried to give her a chance but then I caught that reality show she had with her boy toy when my kids were watching it back when. It reminded me of a certain lyric from that past country great, Jethro Tull; “Thick as a Brick”. Of course that would be taken out of context with an opposite meaning than was intended by the author! Heh!

    Don’t stop me. I’m on a roll! :-o

    And quit pickin’ on my girl Jewel. Anybody that grew up in Alaska and lived in her car is about as country as it gets! Jewel has always been country, it’s just no one noticed. And they don’t twang in Alaska!

    Yours in Country Music,
    A Wannabe’ Cow Tipper

    OK, OK, I’ll behave and go back to lurking now. :-o

  14. Stormy
    May 29, 2008 at 10:54 am

    This is pretty much the single that the mainstream deserves.

    As for Jewel, her new song is bad, but the last time she had a good first single off of an album was “Who Will Save Your Soul.” Her album isn’t bad and it does make an honest attempt to be country. What bugs me about the project is that she says that her music hasn’t changed, but the industry has, when she very obviously mixed in intruments that have never been part of her repetoire. Also, that she includes the Pieces of You album cut of “You Were Meant For Me” as a bonus track undercuts what she says about her music not changing and implies that she doesn’t expect enough overlap for fans of the new album to have that song already.

  15. Rick
    May 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Let’s face it if Julianne Hough’s instant country star status doesn’t prove that mainstream country listeners seem more enamored with pop culture celebrity these days than musical substance, I don’t know what will.

    One of the things about this air headed “cult of celebrity / personality” phenomenon among country radio listeners that really galls me is that talented new female artists like Emily West and Crystal Shawanda will likely fall by the wayside. Since Top 40 country radio has so few slots for new female singers, when a Julianne Hough comes along the truly talented artists who aren’t as commercial get pushed aside. Now I don’t know if Jessica has enough fans to propel her to country success (like Julianne), but she sure scores high on the celebrity factor amd especially among the pop culture gossip community……

  16. Mike Parker
    May 29, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Contrived commercial country fluff. Next.

  17. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    Matt C. said, “This single actually has a steel guitar part.”

    Actually, I thought they laid it on a little thick with the steel. If it were stripped from the track, do you think there would be anything even remotely country about this song?

  18. Linda Banks
    May 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    I liked what I heard on the song on the radio this morning on way to work. But the djs didn’t play the whole song, they were were definitely more interested in listening to themselves talk and putting Jessica down than talking about the song. I don’t care if people change genres; why should we? I want to hear the whole album before I jump on the let’s-trash-another-pop-star-who-tries-to-go-country wagon. And why didn’t Bon Jovi get the same treatment?

  19. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Linda said, “And why didn’t Bon Jovi get the same treatment?”

    Because Bon Jovi’s songs actually say something and Bon Jovi has talent, even though his songs don’t belong on country radio.

  20. hairandtoenails
    May 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Fair enough, Razor X, but I would argue that Jessica Simpson is at least as talented as several acts currently on the top 40 charts. And the DJs generally don’t bash those acts.

  21. Pierce
    May 29, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    While I don’t care for either Jessica Simpson or Jewel, I’ll be interested to see how they approach their shows. Will they do shows with JUST their “country” songs? or what will the ratio be?

  22. Mike Parker
    May 29, 2008 at 1:37 pm

    Not sure about Jewel, but I think Jessica Simpson should/could start over with a clean slate. While I know her face and her name, I don’t know any of the songs from her previous “pop” life.

  23. Funk
    May 29, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    I don’t know about the song but anybody else notice Jessica Simpson doesn’t look like she used to?

  24. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    Hairandtoenails said, “Fair enough, Razor X, but I would argue that Jessica Simpson is at least as talented as several acts currently on the top 40 charts. And the DJs generally don’t bash those acts.”

    But many of them SHOULD be bashed.

  25. hairandtoenails
    May 29, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    I agree, Razor X, they should be.

  26. Just saying
    May 29, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    This song is no different than Red High heels, Whos bed has your boots been under etc. Everyone needs a catch & a start. Jessica has a right to have a shot. For the mindless that continue to bash because of a scripted series on TV part of which was Jessica & part of a script please let the woman grow. You are living in the past as are many others. It’s time to get over the Newly Weds for god sakes. They have.
    Of course there are always DJ’s that have there favourites & thats life. Right now she is doing pretty good on the charts. WE will see where she is at at the end of the week. Some may be quite surprised actually.
    I wasn’t saying feel sorry for her by the way. What I was asking for was a normal shot at achieving what she is looking for. Everyone deserves that break.

  27. Kelly
    May 29, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    Wait, I dont think “who’s bed have your boots been under” was that bad, actually. yes, its a bit cutesy, but it had some good solid fiddle in it and was WAY more country than the other songs in question.

  28. Brody Vercher
    May 29, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Just Saying – Part of the reason she may be doing well on the charts after the first week will more likely be due to radio stations playing the hell out of it to gauge their audience’s reaction. I’ve heard that one local station played the song four times in a row. Once the novelty dies off so will the song. This is nothing more than a pop song dressed in pink overalls and cowboy boots.

  29. Jim Malec
    May 29, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    There are many great comments on this article which are worthy of my response, but there is one point that’s just eating at me:

    Comparing this song to “Whose bed Have Your Boots Been Under” is just nonsense.

    You can fault Shania for a lot of things. You can fault her being to poppy, silly, light-hearted. Those things may or not not be true, but one can, if so inclined, make those arguments without sounding ridiculous.

    But one argument no person in his or her right mind can ever make is that Shania, as a songwriter, has nothing to say.

    Even in those silly Shania moments, there is an air of her narrative voice…and there’s a point she’s trying to make. It may not be a “deep and meaningful” point, but the words are more than just mindless babbling. “Don’t Be Stupid” has a point. “That Don’t Impress Me Much” has a point.

    In that sense, I think even a comparison to “Red High Heels” is unfair to Pickler. “Red High Heels” is a reasonably well-written song. Simpson’s “Come on Over” is not.

  30. Dan M
    May 29, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    I do think DJs and the sort are being overly hard on Simpson personally. I mean, she sort of invites it, but still.

    That’s not to say I like this song at all. It sounds like a SHeDAISY throwaway minus the intelligence and charm, and I sure never want to hear it on the radio. But I’d rather it tank silently than have it be some big hatefest; this kind of crap doesn’t deserve that kind of publicity.

  31. Mike Parker
    May 29, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    Well said Dan M. Just ignore it and let it go away.

  32. Jarheaddad
    May 29, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Since this was directed at my satire:

    Jessica has a right to have a shot

    She has a RIGHT to have a shot? Oh yeah, says who?

    For the mindless that continue to bash because of a scripted series on TV part of which was Jessica & part of a script please let the woman grow

    You watch that show? And you’re calling me mindless? I call bullsh*t! I’ll let her grow, right after her daddy does! Heh!

    You are living in the past as are many others. It’s time to get over the Newly Weds for god sakes

    Well, I am oldern’ dirt and senile to boot. How could anyone possibly get over that show? Who do I see to get those minutes of my life back? So there you have it! :-o

    No comparison to anything Shania ever wrote and this song. Pickler’s song even has meaning.

  33. Funk
    May 29, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Well said Dan M. Just ignore it and let it go away.

    You guys are dreamers. Jessica Simpson never went away even after all the gaffs. It got even worse, her less-talented and less-attractive sister got famous.

    Simpson has an impressive marketing machine driving her every move. She’s NOT going away so if you want to try and protect country music, you better get off the fence.

  34. Dan M.
    May 29, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    Funk -

    You make a great point about her marketing strength, but I don’t know if I agree that she “never went away.” Sure, she’s still choice tabloid fodder, but her last album’s sales were pretty awful despite the heavy marketing, and I think most of us would agree that this attempt at courting the country audience seems more than a little desperate.

    Beyond that, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m certainly not on the fence about my avid dislike of this song, but beyond making sure that my local radio DJs (and five treasured blog readers) know exactly how much I don’t want to hear it, I’m not sure what I can really do to “protect country music.”

  35. Mike Parker
    May 29, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    I don’t know… there haven’t been a ton of crossover success stories. Country fans don’t like being someone’s backup plan.

  36. Jarheaddad
    May 29, 2008 at 8:05 pm

    Well said Mike. What people outside of the country world just can’t seem to understand is that country fans are the toughest fans to win there is. Once won though they are fans for life for the most part. Seriously devoted fans at that! If an artist can win them they had best not do anything to run them off or it’s katy-bar-the-door. They won’t come back!

    I like some of those that have crossed over. Bon Jovi/Leann, Robert Plant/Alison, etc. I’m even looking forward to Rod Stewart’s country record. He has sung country for years. But just don’t come at me as a last gasp resort. I’m not buyin’ into that!

    How many times has Leann Rimes left country for pop and come back again anyhoo? Four? Her fans stuck with her. Once won! But she began in country, not the other way around.

    Now all of a sudden country is cool? Go figure. I enjoy watching bugs fly into my bug zapper too! ;-)

  37. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    Mike said, “I don’t know

  38. Mike Parker
    May 29, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    Funny, my local station was doing some syndicated Q&A with Jewel this evening. Without knowing that, I listened to the last half of a song from her new album, and didn’t understand a single word coming out of the singer’s mouth. When the interviewer came back on she said, “we’re talking with Jewel, the album is called ‘Perfectly Clear.’”

    Hilarious!

  39. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    What irritates me is how quickly country radio embraces these pop-star-turned-country-wannabes, yet they will ignore more deserving country artists, especially the veteran artists. There’s something really wrong when country stations won’t play Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, and Loretta Lynn, but jump at the chance to play Jewel, Jessica Simpson and (soon) Beyonce.

  40. Baron Lane
    May 29, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    I second Razor X. Bad music should be attacked, ridiculed, jeered…it’s evil and poisons our culture no less lethally then McDonald’s poisons your body.

  41. Razor X
    May 29, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    Jessica should have titled her song something other than “Come On Over” to avoid confusion with Shania Twain’s much better song with the same title. I’m thinking “The Seinfeld Song” would have been appropriate, since it’s essentially a song about nothing.

  42. Lynn
    May 30, 2008 at 1:10 am

    As a female, I don’t have to give Jessica another shot at this point. She’s played the dumb blonde act for too long and it isn’t cute. Her big starring role in a movie – wearing daisy dukes and acting like an airhead. What’s she famous for now? Her dating life. Her whole life has been driven by a “marketing machine” – one that plays off of her Dolly Parton looks. This song plays off of it further. I can tell you that I don’t know a single person who will take this girl seriously. She’ll have to do a complete 180 for me to change my mind.

    As for Jewel? I’ll give her a shot. I was never a huge fan of her music, but she used to live in that van down the street from me and play locally. She’s always come across as a nice person who’s serious about her art. Maybe all of this shouldn’t matter, but it does in the case of both of these artists.

    Funny enough, I heard Shania on the radio today (they’re playing her a lot more lately). I forgot how catchy her songs were. Barely country, but ridiculously catchy…in a good way.

  43. Gaby
    May 30, 2008 at 5:32 am

    I agree with Lynn…I am female and don’t feel any need whatsoever to give Jessica Simpson a shot. Stupidity isn’t cute, even if its scripted…and breathy attempts at singing aren’t my thing, even if she calls it country.

  44. Chell
    May 30, 2008 at 8:21 am

    I enjoyed the song. If you asked me to name a single Jessica song from the past, I could not do it. The song is up tempo and is clearly a bar room song that is showing that a woman can ask what she wants and get it if she asks for it. As far as the Jewel song, I really do not like it. I don’t believe that it is country. So what, she is living with a bull rider, that does not make you country but then again, country has so many sides now a days that it is hard to tell what is “country”and what is not.

  45. Paula
    May 30, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    just another nasal Jessica song . On a scale of 1- 10 I will give it a 3 1/2 at best .

  46. Stormy
    May 30, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    Chell: How does the song show a woman can get what she wants if she asks for it? Isn’t basically another “My legs stay open all night” song?

  47. Razor X
    May 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Chell said, “…then again, country has so many sides now a days that it is hard to tell what is “country”and what is not.”

    No, it isn’t. Country is what it always has been, despite a concerted effort to constantly redefine it so it means “pop”. If you have to ask if something is country, then it isn’t.

  48. Cecilia
    May 30, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    Yes This is a bit of a dud, but I really think it is just beacuse of the singer. I have heard Rachel Proctor sing the demo of the song and it is way better. I wish everyone would let up on her. It is not her fault that Jessica Simpson didn’t do that good of a job

  49. Thomas
    May 31, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    the same song 4 times in a row. …?!? this says a lot about that station but even more about the people who still listen to it.

  50. Todd
    June 2, 2008 at 10:14 am

    This song was a better attempt at country than I expected from Jessica. Don’t get me wrong it’s a badly written song but at least the instrumentals had a somewhat country sound to it.

  51. Brit :)
    June 2, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    First of all I love this song!!!!!!!!! However, the lyrics don’t fit it well. But I can’t wait till the cd. Until the c.d. I say we don’t judge. And I like her country better than pop!

  52. northtexas
    June 2, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    “the same song 4 times in a row.

  53. Thomas
    June 3, 2008 at 3:34 am

    the head of water-boarding down at guantanamo is very interested in that song, since they had to turn off the water and burn the wood.

  54. Rhonda
    June 3, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Being that I don’t spend my time worrying about what pop star might be infilitrating my country music and how irate its supposed to make me, I’m able to appreciate this song for what it is. Light and catchy. I like it.

  55. James
    June 4, 2008 at 4:35 am

    I’m liking it. It is an upbeat song, maybe not traditional country, but then again, there are very few artists doing traditional anymore anyway.
    I can compare this to some of Shania’s music and would say Jessica could be as big a coutry artist as she has been a pop artist. Remember Faith Hill’s Lets go to Vegas, I mean come on, this is the same music.
    You gotta like it.

  56. Jim Malec
    June 4, 2008 at 5:27 am

    Hell no I don’t gotta like it.

  57. Stormy
    June 4, 2008 at 6:57 am

    James: I recall Lets Go To Vegas. Not fondly.

  58. Razor X
    June 4, 2008 at 7:01 am

    I think even Faith wants to forget “Let’s Go To Vegas.”

  59. Dee97
    June 4, 2008 at 7:29 am

    I agree, sure it can compared to Vegas, but I think everyone will agree Lets go to Vegas was crap. I usually like the upbeat fun stuff, “red High Heels” and “whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under” are two specifics mentioned earlier, but to hear Jessica Simpson, who I couldnt stand as a pop singer, sticking a steel guitar on a song and calling it country makes me sick to my stomach. If your song HAPPENS to sound close enough to get played on another genre’s radio, w/e, but when people jump to another genre to try to save their career, its just sad, and I agree with Mike, who said, “Country fans don’t like being someone’s backup plan.”

  60. Razor X
    June 4, 2008 at 7:33 am

    Dee97 saud, “… I agree with Mike, who said, “Country fans don’t like being someone’s backup plan.”

    Apparently some don’t mind at all, based on the comments from some of the Jessica-defenders here.

  61. Jeremy
    June 4, 2008 at 8:37 am

    This Reviewer better shut his or her mouth. Cause Jessica’s Song Rocks it’s better then pop music. So if i were you i would Really Listen to it before you talk shit about it. I bet your a old man in his 80′s who still thinks Country Music should be like it was in the 50′s. Bland & boring like you are. So get a life & piss off. Old man

  62. Chris N.
    June 4, 2008 at 9:28 am

    “This Reviewer better shut his or her mouth.”

    “Jim” is still a boy’s name, right? Did I miss a memo?

  63. Razor X
    June 4, 2008 at 9:34 am

    “This Reviewer better shut his or her mouth. Cause Jessica’s Song Rocks it’s better then pop music. So if i were you i would Really Listen to it before you talk shit about it. I bet your a old man in his 80′s who still thinks Country Music should be like it was in the 50′s. Bland & boring like you are. So get a life & piss off. Old man”

    Wow. That diatribe really convinced me that “Come On Over” is a good song after all. Who can argue with such persuasive logic such as this?

  64. Jeremy
    June 4, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Damn Right. That Bastard of a reviewer should watch what the fart says about Jessica Simpson & her song. Cause Pop Is Crap & Country Rules. So Mr/Mrs old fart relisten to the song or shut your old fart mouth up cause come on over is the best song of 2008 you old fart

  65. Mike Parker
    June 4, 2008 at 10:33 am

    Well then… I’m sold. Jeremy, I think the debate team needs someone like you. Your argument is so convincing that I just ripped down all of my Taylor Swift posters and put up Jessica Simpson ones in their place. I think Come on Over will teach me to appreciate Jessica’s “Classic” catalog. She is so under-appreciated. Don’t worry man, the rest of these folks will see the light someday.

  66. northtexas
    June 4, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Jeremy,
    I’m Mr. Old Fart to you!!

  67. Jeremy
    June 4, 2008 at 11:57 am

    I never said Take down Your Taylor Swift posters. She also rocks. She’s in my top 10 of favorite artist.

    1.Carrie underwood
    2.Taylor Swift
    3.Jessica Simpson
    4.Jewel

    I still want to kick that old farts ass for saying that about Jessica

  68. Mike Parker
    June 4, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Wow… interesting… those are my top 4 favorite artists I like to watch with the volume turned all the way down…

    Not really… I think Underwood has a great voice and that Taylor has loads of originality and potential. Jessica and Jewel though, just aren’t my cup of tea.

  69. James
    June 4, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    If Kenny Chesney can be a country star anyone can.
    I mean I never thought he would make it past “she thinks my tractors sexy”. Guess I was wrong.
    There are always crossover artists, and countrys no different, Alan Jackson did a country version of an Eric Clapton song on the CMA’s a while back.
    Long as we can keep SNOOP DOG out I am ok.

  70. Jeremy
    June 4, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    I Agree No Snoop Doggy Dog or Eminem in Country music.

    Come on over still rocks u old fart for a reviewer

  71. Razor X
    June 4, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Snoop Dogg is already making inroads into country:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE-IEtfrQNg

  72. Lauren
    June 5, 2008 at 12:24 am

    How can you really criticize the lyrics by saying a 5th grader could have come up with them when there are songs out there like “Hillbilly Deluxe” which actually has a line that says “up in the backwoods, down in the holler, old boys feelin like a dog on a collar???” Jessica also worked with a lot of well-respected country artists on this album, so just because it’s her first time recording country music doesn’t mean people should just write her off as a failure from the very beginning

  73. Mike Wimmer
    June 7, 2008 at 9:20 am

    If I wanted a song that had zero meaning and sounds like it took 2 minutes to write, I would love this song. As it stands I prefer my music to have some meaning behind it and sound more than a song writer who is doped up on prozac. Yuck.

  74. Stormy
    June 7, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Be nice. Prozac makes you happy, not stupid.

  75. Jim King
    June 9, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    Another review of the lyrics without any context like you did with the latest Montgomery-Gentry single. You can now watch as these two songs compete for the top of the country chart. Maybe it’s you, Jim.

  76. Stormy
    June 9, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    What’s is the context?

  77. Brady Vercher
    June 9, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    The review touches on more than just the lyrics, but it does provide a short summary of what the song is about, as well as a link to the song for any reader to give it a listen if they so choose. I believe that’s enough context for anyone to evaluate whether or not they agree with the review. If that’s not what you mean, then please explain.

    Also, it’s been mentioned before, but charts aren’t solely indicative of quality.

    And one more thing, Jim didn’t write the review for the latest Montgomery Gentry single.

  78. Jim Malec
    June 9, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Excuse me? Half of the review is explicitly NOT about the lyrics. Did you actually read it before posting your comment?

  79. KC
    June 10, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Hey I don’t know who Jim is or what he has done before, but he just has an opinion so what!!

    I have a ?. Can anyone name a Coutry Music star that hasn’t had a campy song?

    If, you come up with one please tell me.

    Everyone that I can think of has…so what’s the big deal with Jessica? If, she can use mindless, pointless lyrics that make someone want to Come Over so be it…I mean it’s hard to believe some of the previous comments and comparisons…most of the Country Music stars of Past, Present and yes even Future have or will start their careers with the same pointless lyrics… then they will come across a hook line that will do just that Hook You….then before you know it they are given the chance to do meaningful, storytelling, lyrical songs…that become their signature hits!

    Look out everyone! Jessica might be the next Country Sensation…then she will have the last laugh….one more thing does anyone remember a guy named Billy Ray Cyrus. from..Achey Breaky Heart fame? uggh I think he has had a hit or two since then….played “DOC” on TV..and talk about critics wow….I’ll stop now..

    The real difference with Country Music and it’s fanbase, the music genre relates to ALL people in all areas of life’s situations..one more thing a Country Fan is a fan for life…have a good one!

  80. Jim Malec
    June 11, 2008 at 12:55 am

    I’ll just go out on a limb here and say that “Achey Breaky Heart” is about ten times better than this song.

  81. Mike Parker
    June 11, 2008 at 8:30 am

    If Jessica’s career goes the way of Billy Ray’s- I’ll be fine with that. I don’t dislike her, but if this song’s any indication, she need to be an actress first, and a singer second (or third).

    I’m interested to hear her album. Billy Ray’s album was actually pretty good. If I’m recalling it correctly, it had “Some Gave All,” “Could’ve Been Me,” “Achy Breaky,” and “Where’m I Gonna Live When I Get Home.” It was entertaining if nothing else.

    As for comparing come on over to achy breaky, Jim is right, there’s no comparison. “Achy Breaky” for all its schlock, was fairly colorful and entertaining the first few times I heard it.

  82. Jim King
    June 11, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    What I meant by context is Jessica Simpson is a well-known personality, so there will be more attention (positive and negative) focused on her than the average new female country artist. Also, the song has a great hook, sounds great coming out of a radio station jingle, and jumps out of the radio at me as something interesting and different.

    I obviously like the lyrics better than Jim, coming as they do from proven country songwriters like Rachel Proctor and Victoria Banks, but he is entitled to his opinion.

    Depending upon whether Jim is intent on communicating his own snobbery about the artist or genuinely intends to inform his readers about the popular appeal of this song was the reason for my comment about the chart.

    Obviously chart performance is not a measure of the worth of any song, but if Jim says the song sucks and I say it’s great, and later it becomes number one on the country singles chart, who is more credible as a predictor of popular taste?

    The lyrics suck and the song is a bland confection were the only things I got out of the review. I obviously disagree. We need more good female artists on the radio no matter where they come from.

  83. Hollerin' Ben
    June 11, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    “Obviously chart performance is not a measure of the worth of any song, but if Jim says the song sucks and I say it’s great, and later it becomes number one on the country singles chart, who is more credible as a predictor of popular taste?”

    So you define “greatness” as popularity and think that a critic’s role is to be the most perceptive “predictor of popular taste”?

    You’re not one of the producers of Nashville Star are you?

  84. Mirjam from Holland
    June 12, 2008 at 1:15 am

    For someone who says they don’t like Jessica Simpson, they sure write about het a lot.
    I think it’s a nice catchy song, and she shure can sing. I think counry music fits her great.
    You go on girl, you’re doing great. I don’t understand the people who don’t like it, why is it then that you make the effort to write it down, between love and hate lies a thin line, maybe that’s why.

  85. Jim Malec
    June 12, 2008 at 3:09 am

    Also, the song has a great hook,

    What songwriting planet are you living on, again?

    Depending upon whether Jim is intent on communicating his own snobbery about the artist or genuinely intends to inform his readers about the popular appeal of this song

    I have absolutely zero desire to inform my readers about the popular appeal of any song. What am I, a PR agent?

    Do yo want to know why I write harsh reviews sometimes? It’s really simple: I love country music so much that I think it deserves to be held to a higher artistic standard than “popular appeal.”

    Obviously chart performance is not a measure of the worth of any song, but if Jim says the song sucks and I say it’s great, and later it becomes number one on the country singles chart, who is more credible as a predictor of popular taste?

    Did I miss something here? At what point did I say that I’m trying to be a predictor of popular taste? I’m sure this song is going to be very, very popular…but that’s completely irrelevant to any aspect of my review.

    As far as credibility…don’t flatter yourself. Your opinion does not matter as much as mine. Come back and compare yourself to me when this is what you do for a living, after your criticism has been published in newspapers and magazines all across the country.

  86. Lindsey H.
    June 12, 2008 at 7:39 am

    As far as the lyrics, aren’t all country music lyrics about the same? I think I have heard variations of this song a thousand times before… Anyway, I agree though that Jess is well-suited to country. Simple and she doesn’t need to think too hard.

  87. Jim Malec
    June 12, 2008 at 7:58 am

    Yeah, country music lyrics are all the same. Simple stories for simple minds, you know? We’re all a bunch of hillbillies who wouldn’t be able to appreciate real music.

  88. Courtney Elise
    June 12, 2008 at 10:40 am

    Stupidest Song EVER. I could cry this is so bad. Nothing is worse than this and i pray that no song is as bad as this.

  89. Chris N.
    June 12, 2008 at 11:03 am

    Wow! Worse than every song ever written in the history of music?

  90. Stormy
    June 12, 2008 at 11:44 am

    I’d say the worst song in country music history was that remake of “Don’t Mess With My Toot Toot” by that guy who failed to understand that he doesn’t have a toot toot.

  91. northtexas
    June 12, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    “Wow! Worse than every song ever written in the history of music?”

    “She’s a hottie” if not one of the worst songs ever is certainly one of the most annoying!!

  92. Paula
    June 12, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    I finally got a chance to listen to this today. Let’s just say if I hadn’t known ahead of time who it was, I’d have thought it was Taylor Swift’s latest debacle.

  93. harley
    June 13, 2008 at 3:30 am

    Jim Malec
    ‘Do yo want to know why I write harsh reviews sometimes? It’s really simple: I love country music so much that I think it deserves to be held to a higher artistic standard than “popular appeal.”‘

    Well that would suggest that you could never give this song a fair review since your starting point is to give ‘harsh reviews’ to songs or artists you consider to have that ‘popular appeal’ and thus undeserving.

  94. Jim Malec
    June 13, 2008 at 4:28 am

    Not at all, Harley–the fact that a review may be harsh is based on the quality of the music, not the potential or actual popular appeal of an artist.

    Country music–whether that’s pop country, Americana, bluegrass, whatever–deserves to be held to a high standard.

    My starting point is always the same, on every song. And truth be told, if you look back at my single reviews, you’ll see that I have given many very positive reviews to very popular artists. In fact, I even gave glowing praise to the new singles from Jewel and Darius Rucker.

    It’s all about the music, Harley. If one of my reviews is harsh, you can bet it’s because the music doesn’t hold up to a high standard.

    I’m glad we’ve had this discussion about my reviewing methodology.

  95. Courtney Elise
    June 14, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    Chris N. “Wow! Worse than every song ever written in the history of music?”

    Absolutely up in the top 5 worse songs in the history of music. Right next to “She’s A Hottie,” “Don’t Mess With My Toot Toot,” and “Revolution #9 (#9, #9, #9, #…)”

  96. lulu
    June 17, 2008 at 1:24 am

    i have always hated her and she is a disgrace to country music end of story

  97. Chris N.
    June 17, 2008 at 8:40 am

    As long as there’s a “We Built This City,” I think the title of Worst Song Ever Written is safe.

  98. Stormy
    June 17, 2008 at 10:48 am
  99. Georgia
    June 18, 2008 at 11:35 am

    This song is one that you hum over and over all day…..just what a GOOD song should do…’

    she did just fine on this…. I like it….

    Go girl !!!!

  100. Razor X
    June 18, 2008 at 11:37 am

    ” …This song is one that you hum over and over all day

  101. Chris N.
    June 18, 2008 at 1:44 pm

    @Stormy: That is a sentiment I could proudly display.

  102. Stormy
    June 18, 2008 at 1:56 pm

    I’m still torn being that one and the one that says “Shakespeare Hates Your Emo Poetry.”

    Oh, and then there is the “Stupid Raisins…Stay Out of My Cookies” one.

  103. texasgaltoo
    June 22, 2008 at 3:17 pm
  104. Heather
    June 26, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    Jessica’s new single is retarted, the song is just repeating over and over again. To me this is not country, it is just another trash. She is just trying too hard to sing country, and I can’t stand her slutty voice. This song is basically about her wanting Tony Romo to go striaght home to her from wherever he is at so they could make love. Okay…I have ENOUGH of JESSICA BRAGGING ABOUT HER NEW LOVE. It’s just making me sick!

  105. Larissa
    June 30, 2008 at 2:02 am

    I liked it.

  106. JC
    June 30, 2008 at 11:11 am

    I am not a Jessica fan at all but I like this song, in spite of myself. There are a lot of songs, country or otherwise, that are just catchy little tunes that aren’t really deep and this is one of them. I’ll admit I rolled my eyes when I found out who sings this song but I don’t think she deserves to be shredded to ribbons just because of who she is and its America’s favorite past time. Give it a rest.

  107. northtexas
    July 4, 2008 at 11:45 am

    Found this at CMT today…LOL!!

    Real Girls Don’t Get Sassy on T-Shirts
    Posted: July 3rd, 2008 at 2:13 pm | By: Craig Shelburne
    Dear Jessica Simpson,

    Welcome to Nashville. And now that you’re here, let me share some advice that I once received as a young reporter — everybody that you pass on the way up will be there to greet you on the way down. In other words, be nice to every person you meet in the country music business. And that includes Carrie Underwood. Why would you wear that “Real Girls Eat Meat” t-shirt when you know full-well that your boyfriend Tony Romo used to date the famous vegetarian?

    I remember the last time a country star made such a bad fashion decision, when Natalie Maines emblazoned F.U.T.K. on her T-shirt, right around the time she had a few choice words to say about Toby Keith. I felt like the tide was about to turn back toward the Dixie Chicks, but poor Natalie just couldn’t turn it around at that point. Hey, I just thought of something! She’s from Texas, too, so naturally, her heart’s always been in country music, just like yours.

    Also, now that you’re starting to show up at country music events — even if you didn’t actually sing at CMA Music Festival — please realize that Carrie Underwood will be hanging around too. She never has a bad word to say about anybody. True, she’s not exactly a chatty girl, but at least she’s polite. Also, she’s got the corner on “America’s Sweetheart” territory these days, so think twice before you get up in her grill.

    Speaking of grill, I know a delicious barbecue place in Nashville. It’s called B&C in the Farmer’s Market. I eat there about twice a week. I’d sure love to have lunch with a Real Girl sometime, and I’ll introduce you to my friends in the music business. Come on over.

    Sincerely,

    Craig Shelburne

  108. Mike McGuire
    July 9, 2008 at 11:13 pm

    This is a hit song. When did this reviewer ever write one and therefore by what authority does he ‘slam’ this one? Obviously he wouldn’t know a hit if it ‘hit’ him in the face. He’s proving it here.

    I’m not really a big fan of opening the doors to all these pop artists just waltzing into our sacred country music venue, but Jessica is a pretty good singer and will bring some much needed attention to our industry. But as for this song, it has all the ingredients and is destined to be a summer smash. So this reviewer, Mr. Malec needs to go back to playing the 45′s on the radio station his program director used to tell him to play, because he obviously doesn’t know a hit when he hears one.

  109. Jim Malec
    July 10, 2008 at 3:49 am

    Hey Mike…

    I. Never. Said. It. Wouldn’t. Be. A. Hit.

  110. Kelly
    July 10, 2008 at 7:22 am

    Mike, do you know country music when you hear it? Big effin’ deal, it’s a hit, but good lord, would people stop confusing “hit” with “good”, let alone half decent, or even non-vomit inducing…are you really Gary Hannan???

  111. Chris N.
    July 10, 2008 at 8:27 am

    If Mike is really Mike, he’s the cofounder of Shenandoah. So that’s pretty good credentials.

    I nonetheless disagree yet again with the premise that a hit song is necessarily a good song.

  112. Stormy
    July 10, 2008 at 8:32 am

    Mike: How is someone who seems only to exist in the music industry to make Brittany look good going to bring any positive attention to country music. At best she gives those who already seat country music at the kiddie table another reason to do so and at worst she reinforces the new found motto–Country Music: Because they’ll let ANYONE in over there.

  113. Kelly
    July 10, 2008 at 8:36 am

    Chris N: I’ll quote My Morning Jacket, “I’m amazed at what they want me to believe”.

    Hits = Money = Quality, that is what Gary H wants us to believe and that is clearly what this alleged “mike” wants us to see also…

  114. Stormy
    July 10, 2008 at 8:52 am

    Kelly: I’m actually into the Shannon McNally phase:
    “Gone are the days when I’m surprised or bewildered by what they call quality/Most of it sounds like bull**** to me.”

  115. Kelly
    July 10, 2008 at 9:29 am

    i think that says it very well also…

    it is such a simple point, yet so many folks who rock out to (or cash the checks from) “Bob Your Head” just dont get it…

  116. Mike McGuire
    July 11, 2008 at 8:51 am

    My grandpa used to say ‘Them that don’t know, don’t know they don’t know’. I’ll just leave it at that.

  117. Chris N.
    July 11, 2008 at 8:56 am

    My grandma used to say, “Wish in one hand and spit in the other, and see which one gets full the fastest.”

    Not really relevant here, but good advice anyway.

  118. Jim Malec
    July 11, 2008 at 9:09 am

    Funny, Chris…my Grandma always said that phrase a little bit differently.

  119. Kelly
    July 11, 2008 at 9:54 am

    Mike: a friend of a friend’s nephew’s babysitters uncle’s insurance agent used to say: People who avoid answering legitimate questions that were raised by their own comments probably shouldnt have made the comments to begin with, or should actually answer them….

  120. Chris N.
    July 11, 2008 at 9:59 am

    Well, my grandma wasn’t big on cursing.

  121. Mike McGuire
    July 11, 2008 at 10:28 am

    I’m sorry….was there a question?

  122. Kelly
    July 11, 2008 at 10:39 am

    I shouldve been more clear, I suppose. The question wasnt specifically asked, but you threw out the opinion that Jessica Simpson is good for Country Music (even in an indirect way) and you suggested the crtitic is wrong for not understanding that its a hit (which he did fully understand). Having said that, the question is, why is such a poor, fluffy, slick, non-country product good for Country music in any way? The attention it brings cant be good, let alone any different than the attention that various cross-over acts have brought in the last couple of years.

  123. Thomas
    July 11, 2008 at 11:41 am

    jessica simpson seemingly apologised to carry with another t-shirt: vegetarians don’t suck, do they?

  124. Mike McGuire
    July 12, 2008 at 10:16 am

    She IS good for country music in an indirect way, Kelly. I may not like her and Jewel and Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock and the Eagles and the likes taking up slots on the country charts but do I think it’s good for country music? Yes I do. Because it puts a spotlight on our industry and brings attention to artists that otherwise wouldn’t be seen. That’s good for all of us.

    Here’s the thing…..I could sit here and tell you I know more than you about what goes into picking songs to record and what is ‘fluffy’ and/or ‘poor’ all day long (which I do) but it wouldn’t make any difference…..you’ve never picked, written and recorded songs to be presented to the public (correct me if I’m wrong). It’s hard! Believe me. But I’ve done ok at it.

    Not every song can be a ‘He Stopped Loving Her Today’. Nor should it be. What is required in a hit song is a ‘hook’…. Professional songwriter’s like Victoria Banks and Rachel Proctor and producers like John Rich know that and that’s why this song has plenty of them in it. From the slamming accoustic guitar hook on the intro and turns to the big long melody lines on the beginning of the chorus to the big steel guitar answering lines…ALL of which are signature hooks. Listen to the whole record boys! Not just to the lyrics. Although the lyrics are fine. They may not be ‘He Stopped Loving Her Today’ but like I said……who cares? They’re fine.

    Some of the biggest records of all time…. ‘Satisfaction’ (Rolling Stones), ‘Pretty Woman’ (Roy Orbison), ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’ (The Beatles), ‘Dancing Queen’ (Abba)… all of those records said ‘squat’ lyrically, but none of us cared. They sounded great. And guess what….Jessica’s record sounds great too.

    Really…..I don’t know what you guys are hearing. ‘Poor’..’Fluffy’…’Slick’? I don’t think so. May I suggest a pair of ‘Mackie HR824′ speakers…..they sound really terrific and you can buy a pair of the on Ebay now for around $800! Maybe you could really hear what this record sounds like through a pair of them.

    And I believe I one of the things you called this record was ‘non-country’. Again…..try the ‘Mackies’

  125. Chris N.
    July 12, 2008 at 11:13 am

    “Satisfaction” said a great deal lyrically, actually. It’s a rather nuanced critique of consumerism in particular and materialism in general.

  126. Mike McGuire
    July 12, 2008 at 11:24 am

    And you’re a very funny man Chris N

  127. Brady Vercher
    July 12, 2008 at 11:31 am

    Someone’s got a big head. The music that’s historically been for the working class and poor now requires $800 speakers for a nuanced listen and to pick up on the subtleties that make it good despite it’s obvious lack of substance. Someone is out of touch with reality as well.

  128. Mike McGuire
    July 12, 2008 at 11:32 am

    I would be willing to bet Mick and Keith were both too high when they wrote ‘Satisfaction’ to know the meaning of both ‘consumerism’ and ‘materialism’….much less care. Something tells me all they were thinking about was that big guitar hook and singing ‘I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY….I CAN’T GET NO….SATISFACTION’. Just making it sound great. And that they did.

  129. Chris N.
    July 12, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Mick Jagger went to the London School of Economics.

  130. Mike McGuire
    July 12, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    1967: Keith Richards and Mick Jagger are busted at Richard’s home for marijuana possession.

  131. Jim Malec
    July 12, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    Now for one of my world famous numbered lists!

    1) I really doubt that Rachel Proctor wrote this song’s steel guitar parts. Unless she arranged and produced her own radio-ready demo, only to have Simpson’s team follow the blueprint exactly.

    2) I’m probably one of only a small handful of country music critics and/or journalists who regularly receive a PRO check. (Correct me if I’m wrong.)

    3) So what if Mick smoked dope? That doesn’t make him any less socially aware.

    4) All of the songs you’ve selected as example are important because of their musical context. They may have sounded great, but what made them so cool was how they sounded in a comparative sense. They were groundbreaking. Jessica Simpson’s song is not groundbreaking. I mean, think about this–you’re comparing her to freakin’ Roy Orbison. Do you really feel comfortable with that? Because it’s an absurd argument.

    5) “…they sound really terrific and you can buy a pair of the on Ebay now for around $800! Maybe you could really hear what this record sounds like through a pair of them.”

    I’m not going to argue that records don’t sound better on better speakers (they do), but I would point (in agreement) to the answers you’ve already received.

    I would also like to make a different point based on the quoted sentence, however. People don’t listen to must on $800 speakers. They listen to poorly compressed MP3s on earbuds. That’s the reality of the day. If your music only sounds good on $800 speakers, you’ve got a problem. This, of course, has nothing to do with Jessica, but it is a valid point nonetheless.

    I think that’s everything. I disagree with you heartily, Mike, but I appreciate your comments and your debate. You are always welcome to question my reviews and voice your concerns. I’m fair game, too.

  132. Mike McGuire
    July 12, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Now for one of my ‘Not very world famous numbered list’ rebutals:

    (Jim writes)
    1) I really doubt that Rachel Proctor wrote this song’s steel guitar parts. Unless she arranged and produced her own radio-ready demo, only to have Simpson’s team follow the blueprint exactly.

    I suspect that was John Rich’s idea. That’s why I mentioned him. Although don’t put it past the writer to come up with the ideas for the record on the demo. We do it all the time. What’s so unusual about that? It doesn’t matter who came up with it tho. What matters is it’s there. And it’s important. It’s hooky.

    (Jim writes)
    2) I’m probably one of only a small handful of country music critics and/or journalists who regularly receive a PRO check. (Correct me if I’m wrong.)

    You are very eloquent Jim. I can see the ‘craft’ in what you do and I’m not even that kind of writer. You’re very good.

    (Jim writes)
    3) So what if Mick smoked dope? That doesn’t make him any less socially aware.

    Nope….not at all. The point I was trying to make there was that ‘Satisfaction’, ‘Pretty Woman’ and those other songs were written around ‘hooks’. All good uptempo songs are. Great lyrics aren’t always necessary. Sometimes ‘fun’ lyrics are what are called for. I know this Jessica song isn’t the deepest song in the world, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a far better song/record than what you are giving it credit for and that’s what my original comment was meant to state. People like it….and they like it for a reason. It sounds good. Every song doesn’t have to be about social conscience you know.

    (Jim writes)
    4) All of the songs you’ve selected as example are important because of their musical context. They may have sounded great, but what made them so cool was how they sounded in a comparative sense. They were groundbreaking. Jessica Simpson’s song is not groundbreaking. I mean, think about this–you’re comparing her to freakin’ Roy Orbison. Do you really feel comfortable with that? Because it’s an absurd argument.

    No I’m not comparing Jessica to Roy…I’m comparing music to music….hooks to hooks. The REASON music sounds like it does. I’m saying take the guitar line off of the intro of ‘Pretty Woman’ and what do you have? Nothing…..drums beating…. that’s it. The whole song falls apart. Same thing with ‘Satisfaction’….. Same thing with Jessica’s record. Without the ‘hook’ at the beginning the song is wounded from the start. Same thing with the chorus. There are different ingredients that make songs appealing and they are different for each song. It’s the phrasing of the melody, the cadence of the guitar riff, it’s a whole lot of things that make a song sound the way it does. We call it ‘magic’ in the studio. That’s what happens in there sometimes. And I’ll tell ya….I hear some magic in this record. Even tho it’s not the deepest lyric I ever heard. It has it’s magic and I think you reviewed it much too harshly. And I can’t help but wonder where your expertise in music comes from.

    (Jim writes)
    5) “People don’t listen to music on $800 speakers. They listen to poorly compressed MP3s on earbuds. That’s the reality of the day. If your music only sounds good on $800 speakers, you’ve got a problem. This, of course, has nothing to do with Jessica, but it is a valid point nonetheless..”

    My comment on the $800 speakers was that it was obviously to me you couldn’t hear this record and that maybe you could finally hear it if you had some good speakers. It was said in sarcasm. Sorry.

    I don’t even know how I got into this family fued. I don’t even have a dog in the hunt. I guess that’s what happens when you open your big mouth. My mama warned me about that. I always was a little slow to learn. Anyway…..go ahead and give me the ‘what for’ back and I’ll try and keep my mouth shut this time around. I’ll leave it with yall from here on.

    I know this music stuff is subjective and that it’s all about opinions. Mine is that this is a pretty darn good record. Jessica is a pretty darn good singer and she’s pretty easy on the eye. And I bet she follows this up with an even better song than this one. And hopefully she’ll cut one of my songs on the next CD. And if she does…..emmmm do you know of anybody that might give us a good review? :)

  133. Chris N.
    July 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    9513 reviews do tend to be logocentric.

  134. Jim Malec
    July 12, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    I’m not gonna give you a “what for”–I respect your opinion, even though I disagree with it.

    I have no idea what Chris is talking about, but I’m adding “logocentric” to my vocabulary…right next to “percussing.”

  135. Jim Malec
    July 12, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    “And I can’t help but wonder where your expertise in music comes from.”

    Being a critic is not simply about the ability to rattle off at-will the theory behind the circle of fifths. In fact, those things, though helpful, are a very small part of the equation.

    My job is understanding music and where it fits into a commercial, cultural, and artistic context–and then being able to communicate that in a way that expounds said understanding.

    Sure, I’ve lived the life of the songwriter (I’ve got the emotional scars to prove it). And I don’t even want to think about how much money I still owe Belmont. I could make a list as long as this review of all the things that “credential” me to do my job.

    It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, you read my review, and you either agree with me or you don’t–but I hope I’ve made you think about something, and I hope I got you excited or angry or brimming with enthusiasm or boiling with rage. (Clearly, I’ve accomplished some of the above here.)

    That’s
    my job. And the only reason I get to keep doing it is because, although you may not agree with me, the truth is that I am almost always right. And being right is worth more than all the credentials in the world, even when you’ve got ‘em.

  136. Stormy
    July 12, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    I will reply to a few points:
    3. I understand that this song isn’t supposed to be “deep.” However, it this day and age “fun” is far too often invoked to excuse really bad and cliched songwriting. Listening to yet another woman do the cliched Playboy approved “sexy” coo through Tiger Beat approved “sexy” lyrics that I have heard in song after song forever is not fun for me, its boring.

    4. That you have to dial all the way back to the Britany Speares and Taylor Swifts to find an artist Jessica CAN aptly be compared to, is part of the reason she got a thumbs down.

  137. hairandtoenails
    July 12, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    Mike Parker writes, “Great lyrics aren’t necessary. Sometimes ‘fun’ lyrics are what is called for.” While great lyrics are not required for a song to be a hit, that is a shame. Life is too short to listen to songs with mediocre lyrics.

    Moreover, “great lyrics” and “fun lyrics” are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I find nothing “fun” about dull, cliched lyrics.

    Some of the best “fun” songs have great lyrics. Songs written by Dennis Linde often fit this category. Tom T Hall could write songs with great hooks, “fun” lyrics, and even a memorable story or interesting insight. Lots of songwriters can write songs that are fun and “great” at the same time. So why waste time listening to bad lyrics unless the music or vocal is truly outstanding?

    That question is only half rhetorical. While I see no reason to waste time on songs with bad lyrics, obviously a lot of people do just that. “Bob That Head” is a hit. So I can sympathize with the songwriter, who, looking for a paycheck, writes such lyrics. And I give that songwriter credit for having a keen commercial sense, but not not for writing good lyrics.

  138. Kelly
    July 12, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Mike:

    sorry, i am getting in on this late, and many of my thoughts have been expressed as far as my own disagreement with your argument, but I’ll still say this: Great, you’re a star musician and you get to tell me how songs are “picked”, well, I know that this cut got picked and I do not have to know the process to know that it isnt a good song, and therefore isnt good for Country music. bad music is not and never will bring a positive light to any genre it is allegedly representing, period. I dont need PRO checks, or personal relationships with rachel proctor to know that…

  139. Kelly
    July 12, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    BTW, Mike, you mentioned earlier that you may not like her (Simpson) and jewel and sheryl crow and th others ciming in and “crossing over”, but later you say that its a “pretty darn good record”, which is it??

  140. Mike McGuire
    July 12, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Sorry Kelly…..I’m outta here.

  141. sally
    July 14, 2008 at 1:07 am

    This song sounded much better with Victoria Banks singing it with only acoustic guitar. I’m still not sure it is country, but it sounded like real music…not computer generated like Simpson’s. I prefer Victoria Banks’ voice as well. It too sounded real, not like Simpson’s imitation of what she thinks a country singer should sound like.

    Listen to it here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH2Ew6LxLc4

  142. ccf
    July 15, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    one word can sum “Come on over” including vocals, arrangement, lyrics and video is

    BAD

  143. DJS
    July 18, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    Say what you like, but wish I had written it. I’d be smiling all the way to the bank with every royalty check I cashed. I say, right on to the writers, the players, the producer, the engineer, and to Jessica Simpson as well. Lighten up, not every pop song is a masterpiece. To all you critics, show us your hits and let’s see how they hold up. Get over yourselves, and stop criticizing the success of others to feel better about yourselves. You sound like bitter musicians trying to knock down anything that points to your own lack of success.

  144. Stormy
    July 18, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    I’m not sure I would be celebrating the cost benefit of this song.

  145. Kelly
    July 19, 2008 at 2:01 am

    DJS: Isnt it possible that the people that are discussing the music and the way that this song doesnt appeal to them musically is an example of them not liking the song only? Why does it have to be a bunch of “bitter musicians”? I also am sick and tired of the whole, “Show us your hits” argument. Are you suggesting that everytime you watch an NFL or NBA game that you dont criticize the ref’s call or a players mistake on the court or field? Unless your an athlete of world-class stature, you shouldn’t do that ever, according to your narrow argument. Insecurity isnt what drives many people to criticize a musical work, its simply not liking it, and this is a forum for discussion, both postive and negative.

  146. frank
    July 23, 2008 at 11:54 pm

    I live work and play in nashville. i make my living writing songs and i absolutley love this. i am proud of the song and love that jes didn’t try to go too pop on it. i haven’t heard the rest of the album but love the first single

  147. Chris N.
    July 24, 2008 at 12:52 am

    OT, but ‘The Dark Knight’ sure was great.

    Oh, wait! I just remembered that I’ve never written, directed and/or starred in a movie myself, and therefore I am not qualified to judge whether a movie someone else made is any good or not. So I actually don’t know, it might have been a piece of crap. Never mind.

  148. Hollerin' Ben
    July 24, 2008 at 3:48 am

    Frank,
    I live work and play in nashville. i make my living writing songs
    congratulations on establishing credibility

    and i absolutley love this. i am proud of the song and love that jes didn’t try to go too pop on it.
    my condolences on your loss of credibility

  149. aimee
    September 12, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    OMG!
    I love this song it’s so AMAZING!
    YOU GO GIRL, don’t listen to the other people that dont know what a real song is. And I think you do better at country music, so stick to waht you are doing now! its great! I wish it was my song. And it is exactly how I feel about my husband!!!!

  150. Kelly K. Morris
    October 23, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    This is one of my favorite songs of the years. I love that it makes me feel good. Jessica is a breathe of fresh air to the country scene.

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