Gary Allan Opens Up To People Magazine About His Wife’s Suicide
Gary Allan’s music is highly esteemed by me, so when I found out that he revealed what happened to his wife for the first time in People magazine I went out and bought a copy. It’s a depressingly detailed account and gives fans a glimpse into what Allan must have been feeling and the effect it had on his music. “He poured out his agony in the studio, resulting in 2005’s heart-wrenchingly personal Tough All Over. ‘It was scary,’ says his close friend and songwriting partner Odie Blackman, ’seeing him go through it and knowing that the music was some kind of therapy.’”
The article is written in the first person from Gary Allan’s point of view. He starts from the point he met his wife, Angela, for the first time and asked her to marry him in 2000. They moved to Tennessee in 2003 where Angela suffered a lot of allergies which triggered migraines.
Her migraines were so bad that she would black out and have to go lie down. She was depressed, but because the depression seemed to start with the migraines, she never really got properly treated for the depression. She got treated for the migraines.
He then goes on to talk about the night that she died. He says she was physically sick and he had just got home. He ended up taking the kids to a Halloween party and tucked them in bed when they got back. Allan mentions that his wife was acting out of character.
She asked me to check on one of the kids. I said, “I just put them to bed, everyone’s fine. I took care of it all.” She sat there for a minute, and she said, “Would you go get me a Coke? I feel like I’m sick.” So I went into the kitchen and heard a loud pop. It sounded like she had thrown something. I had a gun safe underneath the bed, and she had taken out a pistol, stuck it in her mouth and pulled the trigger. She was on the bed. She was gone.
In the rest of the article he talks about the way life has been since that night. He didn’t do anything for his depression at first, then he found therapy in writing, took an anti-depressant, and went to counseling with his kids. He says “the toughest part is just letting go of the guilt. She never told me she was thinking about killing herself, ever.”
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Trackback URI for this postApril 15, 2007
[...] Brody at The 9513 has an excellent post up that summarizes and discusses Gary Allan’s first extended interview about his wife’s [...]
July 11, 2008
[...] off from the point he met his wife, Angela, for the first time and asked her to marry him in …http://www.the9513.com/gary-allan-opens-up-to-people-magazine-about-his-wifes-suicide/Gary Allan’s wife died on monday28) near Nashville for gary Allan’s wife, angela L. Herzberg, who [...]
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April 13, 2007 at 9:33 pm Permalink
Good post Brody, this article was hard to read, especially seeing his wife in a picture with him, and they looked so happy. The album “Tough All Over” makes more sense to me now, some of those songs were about her, and its sad to think about all of the kids left behind.
April 14, 2007 at 7:03 am Permalink
A sad and terrible story. It’s a shame he did it in People instead of a more dignified format, but it’s hard to judge a guy that’s been all through that.
April 14, 2007 at 8:51 am Permalink
Vanessa – Yea, there was a lot of kids in that one house. Hopefully, like Gary, they’ve found that “bounce in their step” once again.
Baron – I thought it was weird that it was in People too, but maybe that speaks more highly of the reporter than the format, or maybe they were the first to agree to do the ’story’ on his terms.
April 14, 2007 at 3:25 pm Permalink
I remember Reba McEntire giving her first interview after the plane crash to People, and Olivia Newton-John did so with both her breast cancer and her missing boyfriend. I think People leans toward sympathetic coverage and tends to cover things like this with good taste.
April 14, 2007 at 4:56 pm Permalink
Thanks so much for posting this: it’s really sad to know he and his family went through this. Hopefully, it can prevent other incidents like this from happening in the future.
I haven’t had much time to go online the last few weeks because I’ve been really busy, but I’m glad to see how well The 9513 is doing. Thanks for all your hard work!
April 16, 2007 at 12:16 pm Permalink
I guess I’ve just never been wise to ways of People. I’ve always assumed it was just a gossip magazine since it sits at the check-out line with other gossip magazines. But, my girlfriend told me it’s the only one she reads, specifically because it isn’t a gossip magazine.
April 16, 2007 at 3:25 pm Permalink
i think gary has come a long way…just like the song said its been a long year…but hes not close to being over it and he will never be close …angela will aways be with gary , maybe one day he will find someone he could love again i hope so.love ya gary, luckylady here, martha.
April 17, 2007 at 11:20 am Permalink
I was under the impression that People pays for their “interviews.” That means they will also take “for hire” pieces written by PR flaks. Most magazines don’t do that. Correct me please if I am wrong.
Funk
April 19, 2007 at 10:12 am Permalink
It broke my heart to read how Gary Allan’s wife died. I knew she committed suicide but I didn’t know their children or Gary were home when it happened. How sad and how difficult it must have been for him. I can only imagine what he was going through. I love the album Tough All Over and got to see him here in Ohio this past summer. He has such a unique voice. I pray that he and his children are healing and that he continues to bring us more wonderful music. Like I heard on the radio yesterday, he’s like the Johnny Cash of this generation.
May 1, 2007 at 10:29 am Permalink
OMG!! What an article, I cried all the way through it. I to have depression and allergies, with arthritis and I was really concerned with this story. My heart goes out to Gary Allan and his family as well as Angelas family. Carolyn Evans
May 7, 2007 at 6:41 am Permalink
I too share Garys sorrow, and feel his pain. My father took his own life last year, in the same manner as Garys wife. He was alone in the house. I never saw it coming. It leaves me angry, and confused. My thoughts are with everyone who has to go through something like this.
May 7, 2007 at 9:48 am Permalink
Is there a biography about Gary Allan somewhere? I’d like to know how he got into country music to begin with
May 7, 2007 at 11:47 am Permalink
C Gridley: If you’re looking for a book, there isn’t one that I know about. From the few online biographies I’ve read, Wikipedia seems to have the most pertinent information to what you’re looking for, but it’s still not very much.
May 14, 2007 at 7:02 pm Permalink
Gary is one of the few male artists of today’s country that I respect, and buy his records. Sad story, and one hopes he has found some peace.
May 18, 2007 at 5:45 pm Permalink
Gary Allan will be on Oprah on 5/24/07. From what I understand, from the website, his part will be about his wife’s battle with depression.
May 25, 2007 at 1:49 pm Permalink
I am 30yrs old and had a brother who commited suicide.It will be two years in August.My brother was 32yrs old at the time.My brother was married with 2 little girls and another baby on the way.
I was able to watch Gary Allen on Oprah yesterday.I know my sister -in -law is still struggling everyday.i can’t imagine what it must be like to lose the one you love.Also to have to tell the children that there mother or father had past away.
May 26, 2007 at 11:13 am Permalink
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Gary. I love your music and am thankful that you can share the pain you experience every day. Suicide is such a final thing and right now it seems like the pain won’t go away, but with God’s help, it will be manageable. God bless you.
June 12, 2007 at 4:23 pm Permalink
Aww Gary i’m so sorry about that! I started to cry when I read this. I wish you the best and god bless you…I will pray for you.
July 30, 2007 at 1:37 pm Permalink
My heart goes out to Gary Allan and his children. His music is very honest and passionate. He has a one of a kind voice and has touched so many lives with his songs. I am glad to see him recovering and contiuing to bless us with his music.
August 11, 2007 at 4:02 pm Permalink
Dear Gary, I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. I, too suffer from depression, a very serious illness. Some people do not consider it an illness, rather an act by a crazy person and that is so not true. No one should ever be mad at a person who commits suicide. It can’t be helped. It’s no reflection on that person’s family at all. I’m so sorry. Your songs are beautiful and so was your wife, Angela.
December 29, 2007 at 12:31 pm Permalink
I know what she went through.
January 29, 2008 at 10:52 am Permalink
I lost my first love the same way Gary Allan lost his wife. I continue to go through this whirlwind of emotions. I find myself feeling guilty because I wish I could just forget him. Erase him completely and maybe I wouldn’t hurt so bad. Then I see someone like Gary Allan and I realize that I am not alone in my sorrow and to forget would take away some wonderful memories and until we are reunited someday, memories are all I have of my first love!
March 17, 2008 at 3:53 pm Permalink
I would just like to thank Gary Allan for sharing such a gut wrenching tragedy with his fans. On the night of Sept 6, 2006 I was sitting outside listening to “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful” over and over again. I could literally feel the pain in that song. At 2:00am I woke to the pounding of a family friend/deputy letting me know that my father had killed himself. Although, I cannot bring myself to listen to many of Gary Allan’s songs I will always remember how his music touched me at a time when I felt noone else understood what our family was going through. Thanks again Gary for sharing your talent.
April 24, 2008 at 11:42 am Permalink
thank you for sharing that story i have had people in my life comitted sucide and u dont know why they did it..least there is closer of why she did what she did. she is in a good place now looking down smiling. she is out of her pain.
May 5, 2008 at 11:49 am Permalink
Gary,
I dont know if you will ever read this or not, but I am very sorry for your loss. I know it has been a couple of years since this tradegy, but I am certain that you still feel the pain at times. I too am a Country musician away from home alot, so I know some of the thoughts that may have been or still go through your mind. I also have a wife and kids that I miss very much when I am on the road, but thankfully God helps lead us and keep us together. Take care Gary, and may God watch upon Angela and the rest of your family.
Gary
May 28, 2008 at 11:14 pm Permalink
Wow, what a loss. lost my brother to suicide. He didnt tell anyone about it.. but then people who are serious dont tell, do they?
Its about getting peace of mind for their troubles.
but, not thinkinng about what they leave behind.
I’ve learned over time that he is better off.
so are others that decide to end it for whatever reason.
We all go on. to cherious whatever memories we have of our loved ones.
never forget!!
We all stand behind you Gary!! love your strength!!!
June 26, 2008 at 8:36 pm Permalink
Just to inform the public. Gary you should be so ashamed of yourself. Until today, I loved your songs and knew there was a real reason behind your songs. The guilt you must feel should haunt you for the rest of your life. Your songs making you money over the death you caused. What a sorry way to make a living. The truth is known. You and God know the true reason for your wifes sucide, and believe me you will be judged on judgement day.On the oprah show I don’t understand how you could lie to your fans and mostly to yourself. You are in complete denial. You need to look in the mirror everyday and if you can live with the lies you have told, the so be it. Your life style is truely hurtful. If you don’t think the truth will surface one day then think again. Lies lead to another lie and then your life is based on one big lie. Your life is ONE big LIE. I met one of your wives sisters today and the truth was told. So enjoy your money making life from the life you took. Remember judgement. Yes I was told your wife was depressed and had problems but instead of helping her you hurt her.
July 3, 2008 at 12:29 pm Permalink
that is the sadest thing i have ever herd i cant even imagine how misserable you would have to be to kill yourself and im srry about some of the other comments people have wrote and i do not believe them
August 14, 2008 at 8:36 pm Permalink
Connie Garcia, you are truly a moron. Did you read the article at all? How do you know how their life was? It’s morons like you that are rotting this country with your rash judgements. You call yourself a Christian yet you’re the first one who judges. What a hypocrite. You disgust me.
September 8, 2008 at 12:29 am Permalink
wow thats the hardest thing to go through but it gets better day by day.
September 12, 2008 at 9:35 am Permalink
To Connie Garcia:
How can you come on here & leave a comment like that? Do you PERSONALLY know the Allen family? Did you live in their house? Do you know what went on behind closed doors? You are passing judgement on someone who you have no clue about. You are passing judgement based on “hear say”. Who made you God, so that you are able to pass judgement on people & throw stones? You need to practice what you preach b/c as you stated, “you will be judged on judgement day”. How could one person be so cold hearted & down right mean? Have you ever lost someone in this manner? Yes, you are right in one statement that only Gary & God knows what was going on, but YOU ARE NOT GOD, so how can you make a statement like that & then turn around & pass judgement in the same breath?? I totally agree with Josh…you are a hypocrite & you will be the one in the end who suffers the consequences for the words that come out of your mouth. I am also a musician who has struggled with depression & I know personally that when I write music, sing & play my guitar, it is a healing tool for me & I share that with people. It is real life…my life. People heal & grieve differently. Who are you to decide how they choose to do it? I pray that God forgives you. My prayers are with the Allen family & I pray that they can find some sort of peace at the end of the day & cherish the good memories that their family shared.
September 12, 2008 at 10:27 am Permalink
Ahmen, GiGi. I couldn’t agree more.
October 5, 2008 at 7:37 pm Permalink
This sounds like something that happened to my boyfriend’s mom back in high school. The three of us went out bowling on a Saturday and everthing was fine. He woke up the next morning and she was gone. She had driven out in the country and committed suicide. The next day (Monday) they found the car. The conclusion was that she had a chemical imbalance in her brain. I really do miss her; she was really cool to me because I was three years older than her son. I think about her when I read or hear about something very tragic or simular to what had happened to her.
October 21, 2008 at 1:31 pm Permalink
gary i fell in love with his voice the very time i heard him sign . HE really needs more credit then he gets i think he is one of countrys best male voice in country music at this time. i wish him the best in his life . i just seen him in concert in pa. in aug.2008 plus he is one HOT man!!!!!!!!!
October 25, 2008 at 3:54 pm Permalink
I am Angela’s sister. Today is 4 years that she has been gone and the pain is still here. Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. I’m not sure who Connie is but would like to know why she feels the way she does. As many of you know, there are so many unanswered questions…… I don’t feel like her being gone is Gary’s fault. The doctor (if anyone) I feel is to blame for messing up her medication.
Thanks, Dana
October 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm Permalink
Dana,
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. Nobody really should be blamed for the sad tragedy. Nobody knows when anything like this will happen and probably Angela didn’t know either. She is missed by the whole family I am sure, but she is where she wants to be without the pain. My boyfriend’s mom never once looked ill or was having things badly going on in her life. She woke up one morning and was gone. She was a happy go lucky lady on the outside but I’m sure she was stuggling with issues inside and never spoke of them. She will and always will be missed by her family, Gary and fans of her husband’s. Nobody know why people take their lives, but only God knows and He needed another angel to help in heaven.
Monica H.
October 27, 2008 at 12:45 am Permalink
Wow, that response by “Connie Garcia” is one of the coldest things I’ve ever read… YOU are the one who should be ashamed of yourself.
This must’ve been such a tough thing to go though… I really can’t even imagine. I’m glad he was able to somehow get through it and continue on with a successful career.
October 28, 2008 at 7:16 pm Permalink
I do personally know the family of his wife. Her mother raises his kids. He does not financially support them. Do you still feel sorry for him?
November 4, 2008 at 3:35 pm Permalink
This is to Gary,
I am so sorry for what you have been thru, I myself lost a spouse in 98′. I blamed myself for the longest, cause we had a fight that morning. It has taken this long to understand that things just happen. I am a big fan and i was at your alpharetta concert (the crazy girl screaming in the 7th row) but Just so you know I love you and your music, don’t ever stop singing your heart out cause you got me thru my tough times. your biggest fan always Tiffany
November 11, 2008 at 10:21 pm Permalink
Gary, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know nothing will ever come close to replacing your Angela. I truely hope for your best. You are a maganatude to be delt with! My absolute best to you and your’s
As an Air Traffic Controller. I’m also “Sittin out here lookin @ airplanes” MWA
November 23, 2008 at 9:07 pm Permalink
I feel terrible when tragedy strikes someone’s life, whether I know them or not. I cannot believe the hurtful words that come across in some of these emails.
I am sure there are people who are hurting and will always hurt from Angela’s suicide and Gary will always be one of those people. The sad thing is, when a tragedy like this happens we always want to blame someone else, not the person we have lost. But in Angela’s case, just like an alcoholic or drug addict, they have to want to help theirself before anyone else can help them.
Instead of condemning the man who loved her, how about saying a prayer for everyone whom Angela touched for they now have to live everyday without the love of their life.
GARY, MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND ANGELA’S FAMILY AS WELL.
December 1, 2008 at 5:50 pm Permalink
angryatallan, you don’t know what you are talking about. Angelas’s kids went to live w/ their dad after her death, Gary’s kids live in TN. I will never understand why people just make crap up.
January 2, 2009 at 12:10 pm Permalink
Gary Allen
January 2, 2009 at 12:15 pm Permalink
It’s Allan with an “a.”
January 2, 2009 at 12:18 pm Permalink
Gary Allen feels and hurts inside like all of us and to keep spinning tales instead of having hope like we would want for our selves will lead you to no where. Look in the mirror and see what you see. God bless
January 2, 2009 at 12:24 pm Permalink
Thank you Brody, my mistake. I love his music
January 2, 2009 at 12:32 pm Permalink
Are you Brody or Brady Vercher?
February 1, 2009 at 3:07 pm Permalink
this is a good article, but it is so sad what she did, i am sorry for her kids and for gary. now his song, best i ever had, is really making sense
February 7, 2009 at 4:42 pm Permalink
I have been a Gary Allan fan since he came out with “Her man” and found this link quite by accident. I have been to numerous concerts of his and have either bought or have been given every CD he has had. I am appalled by the judgemental jerks, ahhh Connie, that would be you, that feel that to hurl condemnations at others will make themselves feel better. I have to commend Gary for healing in his own way. As for his kids…it really is HIS business and no one elses. Some people need a life. I just want Gary to continue making the best music in the country genre out there. Thanks for being you, Elaine
February 8, 2009 at 4:02 pm Permalink
Just seen Gary Allan at the San Antonio Rodeo. He has such great talent and that voice. I hope he is around for a long while. As he sings you can feel the emotions and that he still misses her. What an awful tragedy and for “some” to think think they are God and can judge him. Connie you need to look deep inside yourself about judgement day!
February 13, 2009 at 9:21 pm Permalink
I read every comment on this site…I am so ashamed of the human race for people like connie garcia. You will never know what truly happened that night. Only god and angela know. Let it be..let Gary be…let their children be. . . May god bring smiles, laughter and new light to the lives of those effected by this tragedy. We will all die one day..in a manner unknown to anyone but God. Why not live in peace and not judge those we do not know personally. “Life ain’t always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride”…sieze the day.
March 24, 2009 at 3:36 pm Permalink
DEAR GARY,
I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU WERE TOO!!!! MY HUSBAND HUNG HIMSELF NEAR OUR HOME ON APRIL 10 2005!!! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I STILL LIVE WITH TODAY!!!!
I PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!!! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH !!!! I WISH THAT I COULD TALK TO SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MUSIC AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!! I HAVE EVERY ALBUM YOU HAVE MADE AND BEEN TO SEVERAL OVER YOUR CONCERTS!!! YOU EVEN AUTOGRAPHED A PICTURE FOR ME!!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY THOUGHTS, MY HEART AND MY PRAYERS!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU GARY AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!
JOYCE
March 26, 2009 at 3:42 pm Permalink
I just saw Gary here in Austin, TX at Stubbs BBCUE
a couple of month’s ago. The emotional pain and loss he has gone through are seen through his eyes and heard through his music. I cannot believe the non-human side that some people have in this world, on second thought, Connie could not be human, she’s probably a lost soul whose lost in her own world or a zombie of some sort…What ever the case I hope GOD is very understanding when her judgement day comes. I met the fiddle player in back of Stubb’s that night and convinced him to get Gary’s autograph on the picture of him on the bed with his guitar for me. He gave me a funny look, but explained I did’nt even have to meet him, just wanted the signature. He went around the tour bus, less than 10 min later, my wish was granted, I told him I am inspiring song writer and will see me in Nashville one day. GARY, MY PRAYERS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY…KEEP DOING WHAT YOUR DOING…YOUR GREATEST HITS CD HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH HARD TIMES AS WELL AND INSPIRE MY SONG WRITING. I EVEN WENT AND BOUGHT AN ACOUSTIC…I DON’T WANNA BE THE STAR, I WANNA BE BEHIND THE SCENES, SO I HAVE TO LEARN TO PLAY TO GET MY MUSIC OUT THERE. AGAIN THANKS FOR YOUR INSPIRATION GARY..PEACE BE WITH YOU..
March 31, 2009 at 11:46 am Permalink
Though Gary may never read this or any of these I pray for him and his children. I saw him In Oregon and I think he has a lot of emotional strength and god bless him, he’s an amazing person.
April 14, 2009 at 8:22 pm Permalink
Gary, I just wanted you to know that my entire family loves your music. I have also gained a respect you beyond anyone’s knowing. The fact that you can speak about your wife and her depression is a blessing to me and my family. My sister in law battles depression, and for the longest we did not know what was wrong; but because of your story my brother sprang to action. Thank you so much for being a testimony in this tragedy. -Angela
April 24, 2009 at 2:49 pm Permalink
I lost my wife 12/31/08 to Suicide it is the hardest thing a person can face.I Think time is the only thing that will help .The hardest part for me is the guilt.
June 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm Permalink
Dear gary i am sorry for your lose of your wife i know how it is when you lose a loved one because i lost my dad to lung cancer in 92 i thing you are doing wondful with your kids and all the thing you have to go thought also i am sorry to hear that some lady brock in your house there you have been though a lot god bless you and know that my prays are with you and your girls sherri
June 20, 2009 at 3:11 am Permalink
what a sorry wife and mother. doin it at all is horrible but when they were there? he heard the gun shot and will never forget it. she could have told him how she felt rather then havin her family feel it was there fault!
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