Dolly Parton’s Straight Talk Features Sages Advice, Montages

I have a confession to make. This month’s film is something of a guilty pleasure for me. I was eight when I first saw it and totally okay with my current musical diet of New Kids on the Block and the classic rock station my mom played in the car. But after viewing Straight Talk, Dolly Parton wedged her way into my second grade subconscious, where she’s still taking up space nearly twenty years later.

Dolly Parton plays Shirlee Kenyon, a thrice-married dance instructor from Flat River, Arkansas. She quickly gets fired for too much time helping “stupid customers with their stupid problems.” But for all her advice-giving, this physician can’t heal herself: She goes home to her lazy, beer-guzzling boyfriend (the best friend of the dude Shirlee married three times). And someone who’s hard up for cash probably shouldn’t be flinging coins off bridges on a daily basis in order to make wishes.

So she decides to head for Chicago with a purse full of cash and her boyfriend’s bowling bag in a montage set to “Light of a Clear Blue Morning.”

Speaking of montages, I hope you like them–because there’s more where that came from. Finally, Shirlee arrives in Chicago. But oh no! While stupidly throwing another coin off a bridge, the wind takes her $20 bills with it. Shirlee and her spike heels then stupidly clamber over the rail to retrieve her money. Struggling newspaper reporter Jack Russell (no, seriously–that’s his name) observes this and mistakes it for a suicide attempt, so he freaks out and rushes over to “save” her. What’s the big deal, Jack? She’s got some excellent flotation devices.

Shirlee shrugs off Jack’s rescue attempt and heads on over to a diner where she butts into some girl’s (played by a frumpy Teri Hatcher) business with some admittedly pretty good advice about her workaholic boyfriend, who turns out to be none other than one Jack Russell.

Shirlee continues to be a nosy parker and Jack continues to be kind of a jerk until Teri Hatcher storms off. Then Shirlee steals Teri Hatcher’s breakfast, which is kind of awesome until you look at Desperate Housewives Teri Hatcher and realize that the woman could use a good meal or seven.

Time for another musical montage! This one features Shirlee’s job hunt, set to “Dirty Job.” But it turns out that in Chicago, nobody wants a dancer who keeps her clothes on. Shirlee finally gets work as a receptionist at talk radio station WNDY and, through some more wacky movie coincidences, finds herself filling in for radio shrink Dr. Kendall, who’s failed to show for her first day of work (or any day of work it seems, because the character of Dr. Kendall is dropped like Jessica Simpson from a record label).

But nobody cares about Kendall, because “Doctor” Shirlee Kenyon is a big hit, which we see in, yep, another montage. Turns out that the denizens of the City of the Big Shoulders love Shirlee, who doles out wisdom in the form of folksy aphorisms like a busty combination of Confucius, Oprah, and Jesus.

Jack, sensing something a little off, decides to secretly investigate Shirlee in hopes of ending his journalistic slump. And in a plot twist seen by, well, everyone, the two end up falling for one another. But what happens when Doctor Shirlee’s past—and total lack of qualifications—comes to light? Spoiler Alert: There’s a happy ending. And some more musical montages.

There’s a couple superexcellent things about this movie that grant it guilty pleasure status. First is, of course, Dolly and her music. Second is the rest of the cast. In addition to Teri Hatcher and James Woods (Jack Russell), Spalding Gray, Jerry Orbach, Michael Madsen, and Paul Dinello (Strangers with Candy) all make appearances. Overall, Straight Talk is a movie with a whole lotta charm and a couple laugh out loud moments, thanks in part to Shirlee’s advice (to a martyriffic caller: “Get down off the cross, honey; somebody needs the wood.”). It’s no Coal Miner’s Daughter, but it’s certainly no Beer for My Horses either.