2010 CMA Awards Live Blog
Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood may be the official hosts of tonight’s 44th Annual Country Music Association Awards, but your friends here at The 9513 will be hosting a live blog of our own to chronicle all of the laughs, all of the tears and, naturally, all of the unintentionally hilariousness.
Pre-show questions abound: Is this the year of Miranda Lambert? Will Kelly Clarkson’s powerhouse voice completely obliterate Jason Aldean on the pair’s scheduled duet? Was Alan Jackson’s song “Gone Country” an eerie premonition about actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s country award show debut? We’ll address all of that and more, including an in-depth analysis of whether Kristian Bush’s hat of choice is better or worse than Sugarland’s latest album.
So even if you’re nowhere near Nashville — or a TV, for that matter — join us tonight at 8 p.m. for all the artfully constructed surprise faces, outfit changes and inevitable John Mayer jokes your lil’ ole heart can handle.
6:52 – Karlie: It’s about that time – Juli and Karlie here to kick things off. Fist pump!
6:55 – Juli: I will be upset if Jason Aldean is wearing prettier earrings than me.
6:59 – Karlie: Hellooo, Nashville!
7:00 – Juli: Hi, Carrie Underwood’s banjo player! And her rockabilly bassist.
7:01 – Karlie: I love songs where I have no idea what the singer is saying. Carrie is pulling off the sassy though. (If she can use happy as a noun, I can use the sassy.)
7:02 – Juli: Karlie, I’ve got the closed captioning on. It’s not any clearer that way.
7:02 – Juli: Is Keith Urban flatpicking that banjer? Come on now.
7:03 – Karlie: I wonder if Kellie Pickler will sue for red shoe copyright infringement? High energy opener, if not a bit muddled.
7:04 – Juli: Here we go with a redone “Ballad of Jed Clampett.”
7:05 – Karlie: The lady next to Gwyneth Paltrow is regretting her seat.
7:06 – Juli: Fashionista Karlie, what is that bandoleer thing on Carrie’s dress?
7:07 – Karlie: Juli, I’m not sure – her ginormous wedding ring is blinding me.
7:08 – Juli: Blake Shelton is loaded already, bless his heart.
7:08 – Karlie: The shots of Lady Antebellum kind of make me giggle, because Hilary and Charles managed to nearly push the piano player out of the shot.
7:11 – Karlie: Here we go, Single of the Year.
7:11 – Juli: I can’t even lie. I really, really like “Need You Now.”
7:13 – Karlie: “Need You Now” continues its world domination. I prefer the dance mix version, though.
7:17 – Juli: Rascal Flatts is singing…something. Gary TheVoice’s sparkly purple shirt is distracting me.
7:16 – Karlie: The graphic designers really got fancy with this year’s logo – combining the 44 and the M in CMA. Speaking of fancy, here’s Rascal Flatts!
7:18 – Karlie: “Why Wait?” on a stylist to get dressed – these guys are obviously sartorial pros.
7:21 – Karlie: Next up – Song of the Year.
7:22 – Juli: Song of the Year is “The House That Built Me.” Yay!
7:25 – Karlie: Not sure I’m okay with the mangling of “Golden Ring.”
7:26 – Karlie: Blake looks like he’s “All About Tonight’s” accountant conference networking event.
7:28 – Juli: “Tomorrow can wait ’til tomorrow?” Thanks, Confucius.
7:32 – Karlie: I wonder what classic country song remix we’ll get next?!? I’m personally hoping for “Hotel California”!
7:35 – Karlie: Brody said: So, uh, what’s everybody drinkin’ tonight? — I’m kind of at a loss for words as well.
7:35 – Juli: Can I just go listen to my records now? I got some Paycheck…
7:36 – Juli: Aww, Little Jimmy in his flood getup is cute.
7:36 – Karlie: I can’t help it, I just laughed out loud. That Little Jimmy Dickens scream was hilarious.
7:37 – Juli: Oh, no no no. I hate this song. You are better than this, George Strait.
7:37 – Karlie: What’s wrong with this picture: Miranda Lambert just sang, George Strait is currently perfoming and all I can do is look forward to Gwyneth Paltrow’s bit to erase the memory of the first two.
7:38 – Juli: “The Breath You Take” will cause you to aspirate on your own vomit.
7:41 – Juli: It was so nice of the Country Music Association to invite those hobos onstage and give them a shiny award!
7:42 – Karlie: “New artist” Zac Brown Band takes home the New Artist of the Year trophy.
7:44 – Karlie: In the comments, CMW said:
Folks out west might want to know that the live stream from the press room includes audio of the show as it happens. http://www.cmaawards.com/extras/week-of.aspx?h=live-stream
7:46 – Karlie: Excited to see Alan Jackson to perform “As She’s Walking Away” with Zac Brown Band.
7:48 – Karlie: Juli, those hobos are back – and they found a really big cardboard box!
7:48 – Juli: The fellas sound really good here. Guess there’s some quality jamming going on at the hobocamp.
7:49 – Karlie: Alan is pulling a Ricky Bobby and doesn’t know what to do with his hands without a guitar.
7:49 – Juli: Alan Jackson makes Zac Brown look little bitty.
7:49 – Karlie: Dear Alan, I love you. Let’s hang out.
7:52 – Juli: Kenny is singing yet another song about high school, but at least his shirt has sleeves. You win some, you lose some.
7:52 – Karlie: That intro video was really stressful. I’m glad I didn’t play football in school. On a similar note, Kenny looks pretty macho and manly in his V-neck sweater.
7:56 – Juli: This commercial with the baby zooming around in that rolly thing has been more entertaining than the past hour of television.
7:57 – Karlie: I’m hoping Taylor Swift sings “Dear John” and John Mayer comes in on a guest guitar solo. I bet THAT Taylor Swfit Surprise Face would be for real.
8:01 – Juli: Oh man, it’s Serious Face Taylor Swift.
Ironically they are playing old CMA Awards performances during the break. I doubt half the crowd would even recognize Porter Wagoner.
8:05 – Juli: “Back to December” is better than her last awards show performance. And now we’re on to “Stuck Like Glue.” Reggae breakdown or no reggae breakdown?
8:05 – Karlie: Ah man, they interrupted the CMAs with Glee. Oh, wait…
8:08 – Juli: I cannot even describe Jennifer Nettles’ weirdo dance moves.
8:07 – Karlie: And I through Zac Brown was going to win Craziest Homeless Person Outfit. Are those bruises? I wonder if she borrowed Kristian’s favorite fedora without asking.
8:10 – Juli: Sara Evans is the meat in a Dreamy Sandwich.
8:11 – Karlie: Here we go with Vocal Group of the Year.
8:11 – Karlie: Lady Antebellum takes it to the house.
8:14 – Karlie: I guess Rascal Flatt’s Jay DeMarcus was right – It’s better to be rich than have a trophy. Unless you’re Lady A and have both.
8:17 – Juli: That Modern Family bit with Sofia Vergara and Eric Stonestreet was more enjoyable than Sugarland’s performance.
8:19 – Juli: I feel like Keith Urban just records the same so-so single over and over again these days. Exception that proves the rule: Radney Foster’s “I’m In.”
8:19 – Karlie: I can dig this Keith Urban song and the simple stage set-up. Not sure about the Polaroid/mixed tape kaleidoscope behind him though.
8:21 – Juli: This is Underwood’s best outfit tonight.
8:22 – Karlie: Desperate doesn’t look good on you, Reba.
8:22 – Juli: Gents, would any of you complain if Reba wanted to drink beer and chase girls around you?
8:25 – Karlie: This song has become borderline creepy the longer it goes on. Quick, Brad Paisley make a joke!
8:25 – Juli: This song doesn’t quite have the potential for one of Reba’s excellently overdramatic music videos (paging “Fancy”…). Thus, I am not a fan.
Well, in spite of the “crappy awards show sound myth,” everything sounds pretty darn good tonight.
8:32 – Karlie: Carrie nudged “Brad” after she introduced Jason Aldean – “Hey, can you hardly wait for this trainwreck?”
8:33 – Juli: Jason Aldean is wearing purtier earrings than Kelly Clarkson.
8:33 – Juli: This song could use less Jason Aldean.
8:35 – Karlie: Jason and Kelly –
the new George and Tammy! The new Conway and Loretta! Nevermind.
8:36 – Juli: Sing some more, Little Big Town!
8:37 – Karlie: Here comes Album of the Year.
8:37 – Juli: And it’s Miranda again!
8:40 – Juli: Kid Rock is performing? Hope Valtrex is in the gift bags this year.
8:41 – Karlie: From the comments:
Blake Boldt: For the record: a Beyonce cover, a Kelly Clarkson cameo and a Kid Rock performance within fifteen minutes.
8:42 – Juli: You can almost hear the polyps forming on Kid Rock’s vocal cords.
8:43 – Karlie: In country music, apparently you can use the F word. Kid Rock loves him some fringe.
8:46 – Juli: “Move It On Over” featured in Chevy commercial. Ads are now more country than the show itself.
8:49 – Karlie: Something new from Brad Paisley.
8:50 – Juli: A country song about country music. How meta.
8:50 – Karlie: Let’s play I Spy in Brad’s background montage: Paycheck, Haggard, Price, Parton. Nice to see these guys somewhere.
8:51 – Juli:
8:52 – Karlie: Instead of repeating “This is country music” over and over, can we just get Jamey Johnson onstage?
8:53 – Juli: George Strait’s slow clap and facial expression that looks like he smelled a fart is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
8:55 – Karlie: Vocal Duo of the Year up now.
8:56 – Juli: Sugarland wins. Yay?
8:56 – Juli: Kristian Bush exchanged one stupid hat for another during a commercial break, it seems.
8:57 – Karlie: Jennifer Nettles says “Thank you to country radio, which continues to grow with us.” Interesting choice of words.
8:58 – Juli: Help me, Lee Ann Womack, you’re my only hope.
9:02 – Karlie: I wonder if Hilary and Charles share the same hairdresser.
9:04 – Juli: Can’t Little Big Town come back out and sing the Domino’s menu or something?
9:06 – Karlie: Cue the noise!
9:07 – Juli: Oh, good, the video screen in the background is showing Earth, in case someone isn’t entirely sure what Lady Antebellum is singing about.
9:08 – Karlie: Dierks Bentley looks like he has come to terms with the fact he’s entirely too cool for this crowd.
9:08 – Juli: Dierks was robbed.
9:08 – Karlie: Blake Shelton – Male Vocalist of the Year.
9:09 – Juli: Is Reba crying?! Get it together, gal.
9:10 – Juli: Very classy of Blake to thank Bobby Braddock.
9:10 – Juli: Isn’t it past The Band Perry’s bedtime?
9:10 – Karlie: These three are just presh, even singing about dying while young. Aw.
9:17 – Karlie: Carrie, part two.
9:19 – Karlie: I can appreciate this kind of Carrie performance – some steel, simple set-up, she seems really comfortable.
9:20 From the comments:
Blake Boldt: I would say that Little Jimmy Dickens is hiding under Underwood’s dress, but I feel like we’ve made that joke at some other award show in the past.
9:22 – Juli: Dierks Bentley is sounding great.
9:23 – Karlie: Dierks and crew, FTW.
9:25 – Karlie: I’m imagining a bluegrass version of Twilight with this backdrop. We already know Taylor Swift has an in with the werewolf.
9:27 – Karlie: What is everyone’s verdict on the Country Strong trailer?
9:27 – Juli: I’m glad my local movie theater serves booze. I’m going to need it for Country Strong, if the trailer is any indication.
9:31 – Juli: Time for the Loretta tribute, introduced by the wonderful Sissy Spacek.
9:32 – Karlie: Accents abound between Sissy and Miranda. I like it.
9:35 – Juli: YAY! Loretta embodies the acronym HBIC.
9:34 – Karlie: Irony: Sheryl Crow singing about not having shoes to wear in four figure Yves Saint Laurent stilettos.
9:36 – Juli: Informal poll: whose will to live has been restored by Miss Loretty?
9:37 – Karlie: Female Vocalist of the Year goes to…
9:37 – Juli: …Miranda!
9:38 – Juli: Awww. Miranda and Loretta have melted my icy, dead heart. So good to see the respect Miranda has for Loretta.
9:39 – Karlie: And, I got a little teary there. That was a Moment, with a capital M.
9:41 – Karlie: In other news, Taylor Swift will be going home empty handed, as that was the only award she was up for. Quite a switch from previous years.
9:44 – Karlie: After the Coldplay-like performance from Lady A earlier, a Gwyneth Paltrow performance seems appropriate.
9:45 – Juli: Vince Gill is sporting hipster specs. Never thought I’d see that.
9:46 – Juli: They look good on him, though.
9:47 – Karlie: What I wouldn’t give to hear Vince sing on his own at one of these shows. Gwyneth’s shoes steal the spotlight for me here, though.
9:48 – Karlie: Camera cuts to Miranda: She was not amused by that little show.
9:49 – Juli: Isn’t it deer season? Miranda doesn’t want to be in the auditorium.
9:54 – Karlie: And here comes the big daddy award. Or, possibly, the big mommy?
9:55 – Juli: And it’s Brad Paisley.
9:55 – Juli: Ol’ Brad is trying really hard not to cry. And then he quotes Little Jimmy. Brad, you’re good people.
9:56 – Karlie: Congrats to Brad Paisley, the 2010 Entertainer of the Year.
9:58 – Karlie: Barring a misconstrued comment about Taylor Swift from co-host Carrie, I think that just about wraps things up here. Thanks to Juli and everyone else for coming along for the ride!
9:58 – Juli: Thanks Karlie, and everyone who joined us for the live blog.
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